Admit All Ages: The Morning-After Pill [Satire]

The morning-after pill will soon be available without age restrictions. The federal government had wanted to place an age restriction on the morning-after pill but the district judge found that age restrictions were unfounded in science and ultimately arbitrary.

So, yes, even a 12-year-old can buy the morning-after pill, and Plan B has been deemed safe for over-the-counter use by the FDA. In both cases, unlike cough syrup, you can't overdose on it.

Elise Roedenbeck is a Peruvian-American writer and comedian who frequently smells nice and showers regularly.