Working Wounded: Fixing a Funk

— -- D E A R R E A D E R S: This is a first in my eight years of writing Working Wounded. I'm going to tell you about the funk (more than a bad day and less than a depression) that I'm struggling with and what I'm doing about it. I've never written anything this personal before, but through the years I've been so impressed by the honestly and openness of the people who write to me, that I felt it was time to return the favor.

Unfortunately, funks are like recessions. You can really only identify them after they've been going for a while. As a friend said, "According to most stress tests, you're dead." He had a point, I was adjusting to a new wife, new city, selling and buying a home, a major remodel, a new book and a new baby. I thought I was on top of it all, but I realized that I wasn't. Below I've listed what I've learned.

Learning from a Funk

Do you acknowledge you're in a funk? Roller coasters never just go up; neither does a life or a career. A certain number of funks come with the territory of being a human, in fact, these days I worry about people who never admit to being in a funk.

What kinds of problems are you facing? There are two kinds of problems, the right kind and the wrong kind. When you're facing the "wrong" kind of problems (a felony, bankruptcy, etc.) you've got to make major changes. Upon reflection I realized that all of my problems were the "right" kind so I only had to make a few tweaks to get back on track.

Can you accept that a lot of little stressors will take a toll? Looking back it's crazy that I didn't realize how much I was setting myself up for a funk. I learned from this experience that we're like frogs in a pot of water; we don't notice it when the heat is slowing being turned up. The earlier you do realize things are getting too hot, the sooner you can take steps to turn the heat down.

Can you be more patient with yourself? In a funk, hitting the ground running isn't an option. Be patient and you will hit your stride once again. Can you avoid making your family a dumping ground? I didn't kick the dog or disappear into the bottle or gym. I just wasn't myself and wasn't as present as I needed to be. I learned that when you're in a funk you have to put energy into working your way out both personally and professionally.