May 16, 2009 -- The crap has hit the fan for Jon and Kate Gosselin of TLC's family lovefest, "Jon & Kate Plus 8." Not only were they totally overshadowed by OctoMom, who popped eight out in one swoop, but now rumors are swirling that Kate has been getting down and dirty with the family bodyguard, Steve Neild. Meanwhile, Jon's still under fire for his alleged affair with local school teacher Deanna Hummel.
Both Jon and Kate have denied the rumors. "The allegations...are disgusting, unthinkable, unfathomable, and I am horrified," Kate told People magazine. There's more proof against Jon, who insists that he and Hummel are "just friends." Still, he apologizes for his late night interactions, saying they showed "poor judgment." It seems that this fairy-tale family might be headed towards an unsavory end. Kate hinted that a split is near today. "I don't know that we're in the same place anymore," she told People.
Here's all you need to know about Jon, Kate, Deanna, and Steve.
Age: 34, Aries
Profession: Was a registered nurse (in labor and delivery, naturally), before quitting to raise eight kids. Now, she's an author. Her latest "Eight Little Faces" reached No. 5 on the New York Times bestseller list after a week on shelves.
Likability: Many fans prefer Jon because Kate's constantly belittling him.
Ick Factor: Had a tummy tuck in 2006. After carrying 6 babies at once, it was probably necessary, but still.
How She Met Jon: In 1997 at a picnic, "I never believed in 'love at first sight', but this came really close, Jon was walking across the grass and I saw him and was instantly intrigued."
Age: 23, Taurus
Profession: Third-grade teacher, which means she's also good with kids.
Likability: Iffy. No one likes a trifling home wrecker.
Ick Factor: Her ex-boyfriend is shopping a sex tape he made while they were dating.
How She Met Jon: In January, they bought one another $3 shots at Chill Lounge in Reading, PA. Soon, they were going to bars and sunbathing together and, according to her brother, playing hide the sausage. He says, "No one wants to hear his sister having sex, let alone with a married dude who's, like, almost twice her age and who has eight kids and a maybe-crazy wife."
Age: 32, Aries
Profession: An information technology specialist who worked in the Governor's Office, but quit to be with the family full-time.
Likability: Faltering. Everyone loved Jon pre-affair rumors. He was the poor guy who didn't expect to have eight kids before the age of 30, and got stuck with a nagging, mostly grumpy woman. But lately, he's been cruising around without his wedding ring.
Ick Factor: Was photographed in April sunbathing with his alleged mistress on his front lawn while Kate was out of town.
How He Met Kate: See above.
Profession: Served with the New Zealand Police Department. Now a bodyguard and Vice Prez at Prudent Risk. Has worked for Bill Clinton and several royal families. Travels with the Gosselins, and recently alone with Kate on her book tour.
Likability: Since not much info is available yet, there's no reason to hate. Kate was flirty with him at a recent promotional appearance. According to an employee at the event, she was "gently poking him, giving him little love pats, totally unlike the slapping she does with Jon ... There's a lot of open affection between them."
Ick Factor: He's a married man but has recently been photographed not wearing his wedding band.
How He Met Kate: On the job, making sure no crazy fans attack her or the kidlets.