Super Duper Political Bloopers

ByABC News
October 13, 2000, 12:01 AM

Oct 6, 2000 — -- When Bill Crawford wonders which clown will be the next president of the United States, he has no doubt America will elect a clown.

The only question is what sort of clown.

After all, Democratic challenger Al Gore once told an audience, A zebra doesnt change its spots. And his Republican rival, George W. Bush, took a beating for telling the folks of Nashua, N.H., I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family.

The goofs and gaffes come large and small, and Crawford cant wait for the next one. Its a living, and if its a bit unfair and ghoulish to live off other peoples mistakes, so what?

If you record anyone 24 hours a day, seven days a week, like we virtually do with todays candidates, that person is certain to sound like a buffoon, says Crawford, author of Republicans Do the Dumbest Things (Renaissance Books) and its Democratic companion.

Just when you think youve heard it all, the candidates start talking and the dumb-o-meter pin bounces pretty hard on the register.

Master Exaggerator vs. Mr. Malaprop

In Crawfords mind, this years election pits the tortured syntax of Bush against the ridiculous exaggerations of Gore. And no matter who wins, the laughs are guaranteed.

Bushs verbal bloopers have been so frequent, Vanity Fair went so far as to speculate he may be dyslexic. Reading from prepared speeches, Bush has referred to peacekeeper as pacemaker and argued that America cannot let terrorists and rogue nations hold this nation hostile rather than hostage.

The examples of Bushs tortured tongue goes on and on.

In South Carolina, Bush got a little philosophical with supporters: Rarely is the question asked, Is our children learning?

Debating John McCain, Bush made this point: I think we agree, the past is over. He then complained the Arizona senator cant take the high horse and then claim the low road.