Jennifer Lopez: The Secret Behind My Relationship with Casper Smart

The singer also talks about her body, kids, and how she's evolved as a woman.

ByABC News
January 28, 2014, 12:00 PM

Jan. 28, 2014 -- After three divorces, Jennifer Lopez began dating a younger man, dancer Casper Smart.

Since then, two years have passed, and the two seem happier than ever. There may be a reason: Her view of relationships has evolved over the years, she said.

"It's about finding a relationship that has enough good stuff to outweigh the bad, because nobody's perfect right?," she told Glamour UK. "But without the spark that conflict brings, life would be so boring. I want a bit of chaos in a relationship, but I also want a bit of safety and order."

Jennifer Lopez Barbie Dolls Revealed

Lopez, 44, split from Marc Anthony in 2011, after seven years of marriage. While speaking generally, she told the magazine that there needs to be balance and respect for a relationship to work.

"It's taken me a long to get to this place, but I've learned that I don't ever want to go against my own integrity in a relationship," she said. "If something doesn't feel right to me or makes me feel uncomfortable, I don't want to go along with it - and sometimes as women we do that. But I won't accept it anymore."

She also trusts her instincts when it comes to staying in shape. To keep her fit figure, Lopez avoids over- indulging. "Some people find it comforting to sit down and eat a whole pint of Häagen-Dazs, but honestly that would make me throw up," she said, adding that she can buckle down when she knows she needs to be disciplined.

J-Lo on Marriage: 'Not Anytime Soon'

"Mentally, I'm always thinking about it," she said. "I'm OK looking this way, but at the same time that very ambitious, determined girl inside me is like, 'Come on, let's be in the best shape ever and really show everybody.' Then the other side of me thinks: 'Let's just relax on the beach chair.'"

One thing she's always obsessive about, however, are her twins, Max and Emme, who will turn six next month.

"I make thousands of decisions a week – a day, even – but one decision about them I will belabor for a week," she revealed. "Still all I can really do is give them a good sense of themselves. I can't control how people perceive them, but I can help them to become whole, happy, healthy human beings."