April 9, 2014 -- Before Peaches Geldof died earlier this week at just 25 years old, she wrote a touching tribute to her two sons -- Astala, who turns 2 this month, and Phaedra, 11 months.
With the blessing of her family, U.K.'s Mother & Baby has published her final column titled "BEING A MUM IS THE BEST THING IN MY LIFE."
The daughter of musician Bob Geldof and Paula Yates admitted in the column that before having her two "little cherubs," that "I lived a life of wanton wanderlust."
"With fun-loving friends from Los Angeles to London, I was lost in a haze of youth and no responsibilities," she wrote. "Other than work, there was nothing stopping me from having constant fun. But it was becoming boring. I wanted an anchor –- I craved it."
She then writes that her two sons saved her from "pure apathy." But there was a downside, she admitted, noting that she lost friends.
"My five closest friends were understanding and sweet, albeit less present in my life," she added. "But many others revealed themselves to be of the fair-weather variety. Once I couldn't go out, due to the aforementioned little wailers, they didn't want to know. The idea that I didn't want a nanny didn't seem to register, nor that doing night feeds and waking up at 6am doesn't factor in well with a wine-soaked dinner."
Also, no one wanted to hear about her babies.
"It hurt me. I felt alienated and abandoned. Had I made a mistake?" she wrote.
Then, one day she realized she was right where she belonged.
"Astala came running in to me in bed carrying a drawing he had done. Phaedra crawled adoringly behind him, felt tip all over his face," she wrote. "Astala proudly announced 'Narny (what he calls himself) draw Mama. Narny love Mama'. 'Mama' was some squiggly lines so heartbreakingly sweet, I teared up."
She continued, "Phaedy gave me a wet kiss and both collapsed giggling into my arms, looking at me with pure love. In that magic moment, all my doubts were erased ... I had the perfect life."
She closed by saying that she now felt sorry for those who abandoned her and that "life is good. And being a mum is the best part of it."