Why the 'Twilight' Era Was 'Traumatic' for Kristen Stewart

PHOTO: Kristen Stewart attends the "Clouds Of Sils Maria", "Merchants Of Doubt" & "Silvered Water" screenings during the 52nd New York Film Festival at Alice Tully Hall, Oct. 8, 2014 in New York.Gilbert Carrasquillo/Getty Images
Kristen Stewart attends the "Clouds Of Sils Maria", "Merchants Of Doubt" & "Silvered Water" screenings during the 52nd New York Film Festival at Alice Tully Hall, Oct. 8, 2014 in New York.

Kristen Stewart said her life has changed dramatically since her "Twilight" days.

The 25-year-old actress, who starred alongside then-boyfriend Robert Pattinson in the series of films, said following a really rough period for her during those blockbuster moves, she just said "f*** it all!"

"I lit my universe on fire and I watched it burn," she told Marie Claire for its August cover.

She continued, "it was a really traumatic period in my early 20s that kick-started something in me that was a bit more feral. ... Between ages 15 and 20, it was really intense. I was constantly anxious. I was kind of a control freak. If I didn't know how something was going to turn out, I would make myself ill, or just be locked up or inhibited in a way that was really debilitating."

Stewart added that after a very public split from Pattinson and a scandal with her "Snow White and the Huntsman" director, she was finally able to deal with her celebrity and fame.

"I'm really proud that I am able to move forward and not fall into every mental crater. That's a new thing for me. Age has made me smarter and calmer. And it is f****** awesome," she said.

In fact, her new liberating persona also came with a new look and a shorter do.

"My hair was such a crutch. I looked quote unquote 'sexy' no matter what," she said. "I could hide behind it. As soon as I didn't have all that hair, I had to let my face hang out. I felt more confident than I had in a really long time. And it felt really good. Maybe to most people long hair is prettier. But then what?"