Moms document the relationship between their sperm donor and their son
The couple decided to expand their family through a known donor.
A couple from Washington, D.C., opted for a known sperm donor when they decided to expand their family. When the donor met their son for the first time, the moms documented their meeting and have followed the relationship they have developed ever since, sharing various sweet moments on social media.
In an interview with "Good Morning America," Danielle Winston and Paige Kennedy-Winston, who have been together for six years, said the conversation about having kids began after their "first or second date."
As a lesbian couple, Winston said that she was aware that they would have to use a sperm donor in the process.
Kennedy-Winston, who came out a little later than Winston, said she had to grapple with the idea emotionally in the beginning.
"But I mean, it ended up turning out amazingly, which we're super happy with, but it's something you have to process for sure," Kennedy-Winston said.
"I think we both felt a little bit like if it wasn't the right person, it felt violating," Winston explained. "Given that we were creating our family, and it was the one bond that our kids were going to have genetically was this donor, given that we're planning to have kids where each of us is related to one of them… we were kind of setting our kids up for an entire future -- our grandkids up for an entire future -- with this decision."
She added, "It's really like their genetics, their story, their history, their medical history, everything."
The couple first began their journey to grow their family by going to a sperm bank, although Kennedy-Winston said the process made them uneasy.
"You're basically going through a catalog … it feels worse than a dating app," she said. "You're, like, going through picking genetic material for your children. And I think that felt the most uncomfortable to us. And we were like, that cannot be the only option."
Exploring other alternatives, they began asking their close friends about being donors, but for different reasons, the arrangements never panned out.
Winston and Kennedy-Winston said they eventually realized the best option for them would be to use a known donor. The couple said the process was largely "trial and error" and included legal agreements and genetic testing, among other things.
After interviewing around 200 candidates, they finally found a match, a man named Flavio Valabrega from Italy.
Describing their search journey as a "roller coaster," Winston said, "Once when we met our donor, we immediately were like, 'This is the person' … this felt right for so many reasons."
The couple said they were drawn to Valabrega's character, among other traits.
"When we met him, [he was a] 28-year-old guy and he was, like, spending his Friday nights hanging out with his grandmother, bringing her to the movie theater and posting with her on Instagram, and it just kind of said a lot about who he was and his priorities and his personality," the couple said. "He was checking every single box ... and I think it just felt immediately comfortable."
Eventually, after only communicating through Zoom, phone calls and texts at first, the couple and Valabrega planned to meet in person.
"Within five minutes [after we met], we were just so relieved," Winston recalled. "We were like, 'We have everything in common with him.' He literally [felt] like family from the first second that we saw him. It just felt so natural."
Winston and Kennedy-Winston eventually welcomed their son Lucas on Aug. 29, 2023.
Following Lucas' birth, the couple began sharing their son's life on social media, including his relationship with Valabrega.
In sweet Instagram photos, Winston, Kennedy-Winston, Valabrega and Lucas can be seen going on various adventures together, posing for autumn-themed photos at one point -- complete with pumpkins and cozy flannel shirts -- and dressing up for Halloween. More recently, Winston, Kennedy Winston and Lucas even flew to Rome, spending time with Valabrega for Lucas' "special 10 month birthday," which they also documented on Instagram.
Kennedy-Winston said she and Winston decided to publicly share and document their family life and their relationship with Valabrega "for our own children and for ourselves."
"We really enjoy all of these memories we've made so far," she said.
Inspired by their experience searching for a donor, Winston and Kennedy-Winston have since launched their own company, a modern concierge service for known sperm donor matchmaking, called The Seed Scout.
"When we started realizing the benefits of a known donor and how we are setting our kids up for the best success that we possibly can, in our opinion, it really felt like a no-brainer to start a company to help others find a known donor and go through the steps," Winston said. "They have a resource to give them step by step directions. And they can use us to ask questions, and we hop on calls all the time. We are the people that really help them push through it so that it doesn't hinder their life planning."
Kennedy-Winston told "GMA" that she and Winston hope their story will promote acceptance and normalize having kids through a known donor.
She added, "I think being able to portray a success story to the world of [how this process] could be really beautiful, and this could be amazing ... could be something all these people, who didn't even realize this was an option, [now see as] an option for [their] family."
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