An open letter to daughters missing their moms this Mother’s Day

Marisa Bardach Ramel is co-author of “The Goodbye Diaries: A Mother-Daughter Memoir,” written with her mother Sally Bardach. (The audiobook is out May 5, 2020.) Marisa lives in Brooklyn, New York, with her husband and two children.

Dear Daughters,

This Mother's Day we all want the same thing: our moms.

We want to be daughters in Disney nightgowns who creep upstairs and whisper "Mom" until she jerks awake.

We want to climb into bed, or be tucked into our own, and soothed back to sleep.

We want to be told it’s all a bad dream, and when we wake up, it will be over. Just a dream, my darling.

We want chicken soup from the can, toast with grape jelly, a glass of fizzed out Ginger Ale. The sick menu of our childhood.

We want a cool hand on our hot forehead, a smile the next day as she announces “cool as a cucumber.”

We want a Band-aid on our skinned knee.

We want aloe on our sunburned back.

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We want immunity from pain and suffering.

We want to confide in her all the scary things we’re seeing in the news, on social media, over texts with friends.

We want her reassuring voice to say “this too shall pass.” That our lives won’t be defined by a before and after. That our dreams can still come true.

We want a promise that she’ll be OK.

We want a promise that she’ll be here forever.

But the truth is…

We are the moms now.

We are the ones calling to check in on our parents.

We are the ones caring for and teaching our children.

Our lives will be defined by a before and after — but maybe we’ll like the after better.

Our moms have given us everything we need to thrive in difficult times.

So the best Mother’s Day gift we can give them is to do just that.

To all the moms out there, thank you.

To all the daughters, you’ve got this.

Love,
Marisa