Sharna Burgess gets candid about 'mom guilt' on trip without her son

The former "DWTS" pro has a 1-year-old son with Brian Austin Green.

October 5, 2023, 2:12 PM

Shana Burgess is speaking up about experiencing something many moms can relate to: "mom guilt."

Burgess opened up on Instagram this week about her feelings as she left for a girls' trip without her son Zane, 1, whom she welcomed in June 2022 with her fiance Brian Austin Green.

"New emotional experience unlocked," Burgess captioned an Instagram story that showed luggage in an airport. "I'm headed to Cabo for a girls trip that has been over a year in the making ... the mom guilt for leaving is unreal."

Burgess explained that Zane is currently recovering from an illness, which almost pushed her to skip the trip.

She said she was motivated to still go spend time with her friends thanks to encouragement from Green, a father of five.

PHOTO: Sharna Burgess and Brian Austin Green pose together in Los Angeles, Sept. 30, 2021.
Sharna Burgess and Brian Austin Green pose together in Los Angeles, Sept. 30, 2021.
Christopher Willard/ABC via Getty Images, FILE

"I was going to back out but Bri so beautifully reminded me that I need and deserve these few days," Burgess wrote. "I'm so lucky I have a man that supports and sees me AND that I fully trust in knowing the house kids and life all keep flowing as normal even if I'm away."

She continued, "Everyone is ok. I'm ok...ish. And this will be fun."

PHOTO: Sharna Burgess opened up on Instagram about experiencing "mom guilt" when leaving for a trip without her child.
Sharna Burgess opened up on Instagram about experiencing "mom guilt" when leaving for a trip without her child.
@sharnaburgess/Instagram

Burgess and Green, who competed together as partners on "Dancing With the Stars" in 2021, announced their engagement in September.

Zane is their first child together.

The "mom guilt" that Burgess described feeling is a topic more and more moms are discussing publicly, including other celebrities, like "Boy Meets World" actress Danielle Fishel.

The term is a "name given to the feelings of guilt and shame some people feel when they don’t live up to their own or others' expectations in their role as a parent," according to Dr. Melissa Young, a functional medicine specialist at the Cleveland Clinic.

One mom who opened up publicly about experiencing "mom guilt," Helen Wu Wang, co-host of the "AsianBossGirl" podcast, spoke to "Good Morning America" previously about how she reframes the feeling.

Here are her tips.

1. Pay attention to negative self-talk and challenge those thoughts.

"Something that I actually did was I would pull up my notes app on my phone and I would write out exactly how I was feeling, kind of like journaling in the moment," she told "GMA." "And then every time I look back on it, I would say OK, this is a consistent pattern and maybe I see it a certain way, but maybe my son doesn't see it that way. This isn't happening every day."

2. Set clear boundaries.

Wang said she has implemented boundaries at work -- like ending her day at 3 p.m. -- so she can focus her time in a clear way and not feel bad about focusing on her personal life or professional life.

3. Find a supportive network.

Wang said that she surrounds herself with positive people, including on social media.

"I started to unfollow people who were only showing just like the highlight reel of what it's like to be an overly positive mom, because I don't think that's realistic," Wang said. "All the moms that I follow now show the real aspects of mom life."

4. Identify priorities.

"We want to be able to do it all but the reality of it is that you can't," Wang said. "You're literally juggling way too many balls. Some of them have to drop, so you have to think to yourself, which ones are you going to allow to drop so that it can bounce back up?"

ABC News' Yi-Jin Yu contributed to this report.

Related Topics