A Tennessee mom is speaking out after she acknowledged on social media that she doesn't want to volunteer her time for her kids' class parties or extracurricular activities.
In an Aug. 7 TikTok video post, Casey Neal said in part, "I don't want to be on PTO, PTA, room mom, team mom. I don't want to do any of that," referring to parent groups common in elementary schools across the country.
"I know they're judging me because I'm not raising my hand but I don't want to do all that extra s—. I don't want to come in. I don't want to set up," the mom of four kids between the ages of 3 and 11 continued.
The 31-year-old went on to add that she'll offer financial assistance for student group activities and have her kids participate if they want to, describing herself in the video as a "Proud Venmo mom," referring to a popular payment app.
"If the room mom needs money for everyone to participate, fine, I'll Venmo money right over. I do not want to be, I don't want to set up for it. I don't want to do it," Neal stressed.
Neal's minute-long video has since been viewed nearly 400,000 times and received over 4,400 comments, with many sharing their support and agreeing with her perspective.
"I feel the same way because i have a very stressful job. Thats it," wrote one fellow mom.
Other moms encouraged the financial contributions as a way of being involved.
"As a PTO and room mom we appreciate the send money moms. A place for everyone! Lol," another added.
"A Venmo mom IS involved! Don't discount yourself! (Veteran teacher)," someone else commented.
Neal told "Good Morning America" for years, she has felt guilt and pressure from other parents and sometimes, from her children's teachers and school staffers to sign up and lead activities such as a class party or join a parent-teacher group.
"I always worked full time. And even though I left my job at the beginning of last month, I had always felt a type of anxiety from not being able to be involved," Neal, a former district manager for a frozen custard chain, said.
She said as her children grew and joined sports teams and more events, she tried to attend when she could but after several negative experiences where she felt other parents judging her for not being as active as they were, she decided to forego them and is now happy to support in other ways.
"[My kids] know that I play my part and they know where I'm active, which is with their school," Neal said.
The mom of four said being a "Venmo mom" can also look differently for her fellow mothers but she's heard from many of them since opening up on TikTok and said from her perspective, the "Venmo mom" community is a strong one.
"I define a 'Venmo mom' as so many things … the mom that just drops off snacks, the mom that works three jobs and just wants to be there but can't be there so she just spends money, a mom that just writes a check, teachers who are also moms that are like, 'We don't want to attend all that. We just send our money,'" Neal explained.
"It's just like a big community that I didn't even know existed, that we all have anxiety and … we want the best for our kids and we will donate whatever, as long as it doesn't include our time," she added.
Overall, Neal said she wants other parents to know that however they wish to participate in their kids' school lives, it can all add up to a positive outcome.
"We're all just a community trying to make the education system go round for our kids. There's moms that want to be in charge and dominate and set up the parties and there are moms like me … and we're all just a team," said Neal. "We're all important. We all matter. We're all there for our kids."
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