How Tammi Menendez Makes Prison Marriage Work

Dec. 2, 2005 — -- When people realize that she is married to Erik Menendez, who was convicted with his brother of killing his parents, Tammi Menendez says "they take steps back."

"No one understands what I go through; it's not something I tell everybody," said Tammi Menendez, who married Erik in 1998.

Now she is telling everybody in her book, "They Said We'd Never Make It," which came out in October.

So why did Tammi Menendez, who has been quite private up until now, decide to publish a book?

"I decided it was time," she said. "There were so many non-truths in the media."

The marriage between a free woman raising a 10-year-old daughter and a man in maximum-security prison has sparked much interest.

"I have a different life Monday to Friday, and then I have the weekends with him," she said.

Before they got married, Menendez moved from Duluth, Minn., to be closer to Erik. She spends every Saturday and Sunday from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. with him. Their activities are extremely limited.

"I miss all that and I wish we had it, but we don't," Tammi Menendez said. "The time we spend together is very special, so we just have a different way of spending time together."

They can't have conjugal visits because Erik Menendez was sentenced to life without parole and because he was convicted of killing a family member, she said.

Still, Tammi Menendez says this nontraditional marriage makes her happy.

"Well, when I was married before … I was very unhappy, and with Erik, I find myself being happy. I can only compare the two," she said.

Tammi Menendez's first husband committed suicide two days after he turned himself in for sexually assaulting her daughter. This occurred during Erik's first trial, and the two began corresponding. Soon, she began visiting him and they fell in love.