To Tag Along or Let Go? Parents' First-Day Dilemma
Experts debate the merits of helping your child through a first day of school.
Aug. 22, 2008— -- "I'm your typical overprotective mom," admits 40-year-old Melissa St. Aude, a reporter for the Casa Grande Dispatch in Casa Grande, Ariz.
She further confesses that when her two daughters were small, she made it a point to follow them into their classrooms and introduce herself to their teachers -- before retiring to the hallway and hovering outside of the classroom doors beside other nervous parents for a few minutes after class had started.
Though some school-age children may cringe at the thought of such parental oversight, others may rely on it. And according to child psychologists, St. Aude's approach was probably a completely healthy one -- both for her children and for herself.
"The first day of school was harder for me than for them," St. Aude said. "As a parent, you always think there's danger lurking around every corner."
But as a new school year begins, many parents remain unsure as to whether they're doing more good than harm when tagging along with their kid for the first day of class.
Still, the practice is a widely accepted one. Indeed, many companies have polices that allow parents to take a day off to accompany their child on their first day of school. It is a policy that Jan Harp Domene, the national president of the Parent Teacher Association, applauds.
"The first day of school can be so scary -- especially the first day of kindergarten or preschool," she said. "It can be such a traumatic situation for a child if they are not ready for it."
However, child development experts say that while parental accompaniment can be important in making a child feel secure at school, parents must be very careful to strike a balance between support and suffocation.
"Going to school by yourself is an important developmental step for children," said Dr. David Fassler, clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of Vermont College of Medicine in Burlington. "Hanging on too tightly can send a message that you don't think the child can do it on his or her own."