Exterminating Those Zits From Hell

April 8, 2008 — -- Once upon a time the appearance of a pimple meant to die a little death.

Then we got older and more pressing life problems forced blemishes to make room. We gained perspective, but never forgot the lesson learned at age 13: Zits are created far from equal.

Regular zits can still be knocked out with weapons from an arsenal of benzoil peroxide, a salicylic acid toner, maybe a tube of Australian tea-tree extract for the green at heart. But the cystic zit!

The cystic zit.

The king of blackheads, the emperor of white heads and lord of all red bumps is evil incarnate. If in doubt recall the 1989 classic "How to Get Ahead in Advertising" -- the film about the murderous boil that sprouts on the neck of a young executive.

And as in the movie, a cystic zit can throw an otherwise rational adult into a rage.

And in our rage and pain we do exactly what dermatologic surgeon Min-Wei Christine Lee, director of the East Bay Laser and Skin Care Center in Walnut Creek, Calif., says not to. We attack the growth with fingernails and sewing kit needles, we bloody bathroom tissues, we burn the wound with pure alcohol and pronounce victory.

Of course there will be a scar, but in the moment of triumph we don't care; we've released the pressure that makes the boil -- to use the British word, so much more mature-sounding than pimple! -- so sore to the touch and so difficult to stop touching.