Rev. A.R. Bernard on 4 Things Women Want From a Man

— -- The Rev. A.R. Bernard is pastor of one of the largest congregations in the nation at the Christian Cultural Center in Brooklyn.

But it started out small when Pastor Bernard left his ten-year career in finance and turned to preaching in 1978. He and his wife, Karen, opened a small storefront church with 20 folding chairs.

Now, almost four decades later, the Christian Cultural Center has a registered membership of over 37,000.

Bernard drew upon his experience counseling couples in his large congregation, his faith and his marriage of 44 years to Karen for his new book, “Four Things Women Want from a Man,” a guide to a loving relationship.

At the beginning of his journey to writing the new book, Bernard spoke to a group of men and women in Australia.

“I stood up and I said, ‘Guys, I discovered what it is. I know what women want.’ So I wrote it on the board: ‘They don't know.’ All the men stood up and they started cheering and applauding,” Bernard recalled.

He continued: “I said, ‘Hold it, guys. But they do know what they don't want.’ The women stood up, they cheered and celebrated the moment. So when you say a woman doesn't know what she wants, it's true to an extent, because the conversation – ‘Are you hungry?’ ‘Yeah.’ ‘Let's get something to eat.’ ‘OK.’ ‘Where do you want to go eat?’ ‘I don't know.’ ‘Well, let's go to that restaurant.’ ‘No, I don't want to go there.’”

He added: “So that's the conversation. So I said, ‘They do know what they don't want. But they haven't articulated it.’”

In the book, Bernard, 62, identifies the four things women want in a man as maturity, decisiveness, consistency and strength.

Earlier this month, the preacher spoke about those four wants to a group of women at the Christian Cultural Center.

“They said to me -- they said, ‘Wow, this gives us the tools. This gives us ... a framework with which to make better choices in our relationship,’” Bernard said of the women.

According to Bernard, the book holds useful information for men and women.

“A principle is a broad and basic truth that has no gender. It applies when people apply it correctly. And can experience the benefits from it,” he said.