The Struggle of Overcoming an All-Consuming Porn Addiction

— -- At a time when pornography is more readily available than ever before, even seeping into virtual reality to create a whole new level of connection, some people are struggling with an addiction.

For Garren Burket, his appetite for porn almost destroyed him and his marriage.

“As an addict you find many, many different ways to hide what is going on,” he said. “You’re up late at night, you’re doing different things to distract, or you wait for them to leave. There’s a whole long list of methods.”

Garren had kept his porn addiction a secret from his wife, Lyschel, who traveled for work.

“She traveled a lot,” he said. “That gave me plenty of time to do what I did, and when she was around...I would wait until she was outside or something to that effect.”

“I developed many methods to live that second life and nobody really knew about,” he added.

After two years hiding his addiction, Garren confessed to his wife and the shock took a toll on her.

“Suddenly I started doubting self-worth, I started not understanding – ‘am I beautiful? What is he looking for? Can I measure up to that? I can’t. She’s photoshopped,’” Lyschel said. “I mean this person has been living in your home, and lying in the bed next to you and he’s not the person that you think that he is.”

With her trust shattered, Lyschel became obsessed with her husband’s daily activities.

“I was checking histories on computers. Quizzing him on where he’s been,” she said. “I’m grilling him with a hundred thousand questions -- wondering you know...is he again lying to me.”

“My husband’s addiction became my addiction,” Lyschel added. “It started to consume me.”

Porn addiction is a hotly debated topic. Roughly 43 percent of online users view web pages with pornographic content, according to Internet Pornography Statistics, and it can also impact relationships. In a 2003 survey of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, more than half of the 350 divorce attorneys interviewed said the Internet played a “significant role” in divorces in the past year, and that online porn contributed to half of these cases.

And now, porn is about to reach a whole new level of accessibility with virtual reality. Brian Shuster of UtherVerse has developed interactive software that when paired with a virtual reality headset, transports the user into a 3-D world to participate in porn through an avatar. The company filmed professional porn stars in the act to create customized features, including sex skills, for the avatars.

Shuster said the idea is to allow people to live out their wildest fantasies from the comfort of their own home, maybe even prevent them from cheating. It also gives users the option to bring in their significant others for cyber-sex from near or afar.

“It’s possible for both partners in a couple or for multiple partners to be able to experience virtual reality together,” he said.

While he touts the benefits, Shuster acknowledged that porn can be harmful.

“People need to be able to understand that what they’re viewing is fantasy,” he said. “I think it could be used to really enhance a couple’s sex life...but it can also be used against you, and that’s what happens when someone makes pornography their main sexual outlet.”

The American Psychological Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), which lists the criteria for mental health disorders, does not consider porn addiction a true addiction, citing lack of research.