Obama Does Standup: The President’s 5 Best Jokes about Hillary, Biden and the GOP

“I’m not saying I’m any funnier, I’m saying weed is now legal in DC,” Obama said

ByERIN DOOLEY
March 16, 2015, 12:13 PM
PHOTO: President Barack Obama smiles while making a joke during his speech at the White House Correspondents' Association (WHCA) Dinner at the Washington Hilton Hotel, Saturday, May 3, 2014, in Washington.
President Barack Obama smiles while making a joke during his speech at the White House Correspondents' Association (WHCA) Dinner at the Washington Hilton Hotel, Saturday, May 3, 2014, in Washington.
AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin

— -- When President Obama trots out his comedy chops, both Republicans and Democrats beware.

Speaking at the Gridiron Club’s annual dinner, a white-tie affair that includes skits, songs, and a whole lot of schmoozing, Obama let loose over the weekend, predicting his audience (mostly journalists, lawmakers, and public officials) would “laugh harder than ever.”

“I’m not saying I’m any funnier -- I’m saying weed is now legal in DC,” the president quipped at this weekend’s event in Washington, D.C.

Obama, who last week poked fun at Hillary Clinton on “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” didn’t shy away from further digs at his former Secretary of State, currently under fire for using a private email address and server.

“Think about how things have changed since 2008. Back then, I was the young, tech-savvy candidate of the future. Now I’m yesterday’s news and Hillary has got a server in her house,” he joked.

“I think 2016 will come down to the issues. For example, equal pay. Did you know that the average male presidential candidate earns $150,000 less per speech than a woman doing the same job?” he continued, an apparent jab at Clinton’s high-dollar speaking fees.

“It’s terrible. We got to fix that,” he added.

Obama also ribbed his own VP, who was criticized for getting a little too cozy with the Defense Secretary’s wife, Stephanie Carter, last month.

“Joe rubs my shoulders, too,” the president said. “I just wanted everybody to know, he does. It’s not bad, it feels pretty good. I don’t let him give me a pedicure, but ...”

The president also couldn’t resist few shots at Republicans naturally, including Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker, the GOP’s official speaker for the evening and a potential 2016 presidential candidate.

“Governor Walker got some heat for staying silent when Rudy Giuliani said I don’t love America — which I also think is a problem. Think about it, Scott — if I did not love America, I wouldn’t have moved here from Kenya!” he teased.

“Governors Walker and Perry are not the only possible 2016ers here tonight. We also have Dr. Ben Carson. He wants to make it clear that being here was a choice,” Obama said. (Carson recently said that prison proves homosexuality is “absolutely” a choice.)

“The fact is, Doctor, embracing homosexuality is not something you do because you go to prison,” he continued. “It’s something you do because your vice president can’t keep a secret on ‘Meet the Press.’”

But one issue didn’t leave Obama laughing:

“I got flak for appearing on a video for BuzzFeed, trying to reach younger voters. What nonsense. You know, you don’t diminish your office by taking a selfie. You do it by sending a poorly-written letter to Iran,” he said, referencing the open letter 47 senators wrote warning the leaders of the Iran that any nonproliferation deal they struck with Obama wouldn’t last after the president left office.

“Really, that wasn’t a joke,” the president said.

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