Watch US Intel Chief James Clapper Try Stand Up Comedy

— -- Director of National Intelligence James Clapper, a normally serious guy, took on the role of comedian in front of a group of intelligence wonks today.

He talked about the high standards the public expects of the intelligence community these days.

"We are expected to keep the nation safe and provide exquisite, high-fidelity, time-accurate, anticipatory and relevant intelligence," he said. "And to do that in such a manner that there is no risk and no embarrassment to anyone if what we're doing is publicly revealed. And there is no threat to anyone's revenue bottom line. And there isn't even a scintilla of jeopardy to anyone's civil liberties and privacy, whether a U.S. person or foreign persons. We call this new approach to intelligence Immaculate Collection.”

"Sorry, I couldn't resist," he added. "And by the way, we have to conduct Immaculate Collection on the cheap, too."

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At the event in Washington, D.C., Clapper also unveiled the 2014 National Intelligence Strategy. An unclassified document, it lays out the intelligence environment and identifies emerging threats. This year, Clapper inserted the code of professional ethics for intelligence gathering at the beginning of the report. Its seven points are mission, truth, lawfulness, integrity, stewardship, excellence and diversity.