Beyond the Ivy: The story of every club NOT called the Cubs

— -- We interrupt our ongoing 183-part series, "The Year of the Cubs," for this important reminder:

ESPN investigators have uncovered the shocking news that 29 other teams did in fact play a regular season this year. And we just want to assure all of you out there that we did notice. Seriously.

So now here's the proof: It's time to look back on the defining themes, numbers and memories of every team in baseball -- except, well, that team. So maybe Bill Murray, Eddie Vedder and John Cusack won't regard this lovely retrospective as their favorite baseball story of the year. But for the rest of non-Cubbie Land civilization, hey, this is for you.

You're welcome!

NL EAST

Washington Nationals

2016 plotline: The year Bryce Harper didn't exactly zoom by Mike Trout (but the Nats zoomed by the Mets anyway)

He has hit fewer home runs all season (24) than Brian Dozier has hit since the All-Star break (28)! He has a lower slugging percentage (.444) than Jonathan Villar! He has been worth approximately half as many wins above replacement (1.8) as his rookie teammate, Trea Turner, a guy who hasn't even been in the big leagues for 70 games! And thanks to all those walks Harper still draws, he has managed to do something that only the legendary Adam Dunn had been able to do in this century -- roll up a .375 on-base percentage despite a batting average that has sunk below .245. Yeah, he has almost certainly been playing hurt. But we never saw any of this coming.

New York Mets

2016 plotline: Who kidnapped their wonderful rotation?

But that has been the unlikely story of the Mets' season. A team built around its young-stud rotation lost all its young studs except Noah Syndergaard -- no, Bartolo doesn't count -- and survived! Incredibly, the Mets went only 29-34 in games started by Harvey, deGrom and Matz this season. And they're probably going to get back to the postseason anyway. Who knew!

Philadelphia Phillies

2016 plot line: Back to the future

The good news: They found two rotation building blocks in Vince Velasquez (10.44 K/9 IP) and Jerad Eickhoff (.154 average against his curveball, third-best in the NL behind Jon Lester and Madison Bumgarner). The unlikely duo of Tommy Joseph and Freddy Galvis both hit 20-plus homers. And their bat-flip king center fielder, Odubel Herrera, made the All-Star team. But the bad news: Their best young pitcher, Aaron Nola, has a sprained elbow ligament and an uncertain future. Their rising star at third base, Maikel Franco, took a step backward. And they somehow broke their team record in strikeouts while seeing the fewest pitches in the league. Moral of the story: They still have a lonnnggg way to go.

Atlanta Braves

2016 plotline: Goodbye to Turner Field -- but not to Freddie

While playing on a 92-loss team, in the middle of what was one of baseball's worst lineups for most of the year, the Braves' sweet-swinging first baseman has managed to lead the league in extra-base hits (81). (The only other Braves to do that in the past 50 years: Hank Aaron and Dale Murphy.) And just three other Braves since 1900 have had an 80-XBH season with a slash line as good as Freeman's .306/.404/.572. They would be Aaron, Chipper Jones and Tommy Holmes. But that's not all. You'll find Freeman in the top three in the league in slugging, OPS, OPS , times on base and wins above replacement. So in the past year, he has gone from wrist-surgery candidate to Human Trade Rumor to a man with an outside MVP case. And let's just say that'll work!

Miami Marlins

2016 plotline: Hope turns to sadness

In the final season of his all-too-short life, Fernandez struck out 253 hitters in just 182? innings. That computes to a strikeout rate of 12.49 per nine innings, the third-best by any right-handed pitcher in the history of baseball. And the record will show that over his four big league seasons, he struck out an astonishing 31.2 percent of all the hitters he faced. That ranks No. 1 among every starting pitcher who ever took the mound (and threw 400 innings or more).

Jose Fernandez was that special. But it wasn't talent alone that makes him so irreplaceable. The charisma. The smile. The ability to touch people of all ages, all cultures, all walks of life. The story behind his incredible journey to this time and place. He was a once-in-a-lifetime gift to a franchise that embraced everything about him. Now his death leaves a hole the Marlins can't possibly fill. And neither can their entire heartbroken sport.

NL CENTRAL

St. Louis Cardinals

2016 plotline: Redbirds dig the long ball

For one thing, they've already become the first National League team in history to have eight players hit at least 15 home runs. For another, they have a shot, according to the Elias Sports Bureau, to become just the sixth team since 1900 to hit 90 more home runs one year than the year before. And then there is this mind-blowing stat: Their pinch hitters have combined (along with a .324/.387/.601 slash line that gives them roughly the same OPS as Mike Trout) for 16 home runs in 238 at-bats. Which means Cardinals pinch hitters have a better home run ratio (one every 14.9 ABs) than the man who leads the league in homers, Nolan Arenado (one every 15.1). Right. Of course they do!

Pittsburgh Pirates

2016 plotline: When do the stars come out?

As our buddy David Schoenfield wrote last month, McCutchen's fall from one of baseball's best players to a .255/.337/.432 kind of guy is pretty much unprecedented for a player with his career path. Everyone has denied that he's hurting. But he clearly hasn't been the same since an early-season thumb injury. Cole, on the other hand, made three trips to the disabled list (the past two for an elbow strain). Which helps explain his rough second half (2-6, 5.48 ERA). But it doesn't make the Pirates miss their fourth straight trip to the postseason any less.

Milwaukee Brewers

2016 plotline: Catch a whiff of this

Jonathan Lucroy was traded to Cleveland. Oh wait, no he wasn't. But he still headed out the door (to Texas). Ryan Braun almost got traded for Yasiel Puig. But in the end, he never went anywhere. Jonathan Villar, a fellow most baseball fans still wouldn't know from Jonathan Hornblower, was closing in on joining Rickey Henderson, Joe Morgan and Eric Davis in the 20-homer, 60-steal club. Junior Guerra (9-3, 2.81 ERA) turned into one of the greatest 31-year-old rookies of all time. Center fielder Keon Broxton caught everything between Lake Michigan and Bud Selig's house. And Tyler Thornburg turned himself into a closer by allowing 32 hits in 64? innings. So if you look past all the K's, this is a team putting some pieces in place.

Cincinnati Reds

2016 plotline: The pen wasn't mightier than the first baseman

But ... on the other hand, there's that Reds bullpen. Holy moly. If we disqualify the Rockies from this competition, you can make an argument that no NL bullpen has ever taken the beating this pen has taken: a 5.04 ERA, 31 losses, 24 blown saves and 99 gopher balls served up. Since the dawn of the modern save rule, there are a handful of other NL bullpens that have absorbed that many losses, with an ERA that high. But 99 homers? No NL bullpen ever has done that. Matter of fact, only two have even come within 25 of that. So how do you spell "relief?" Not like this!

NL WEST

Los Angeles Dodgers

2016 plotline: Has there ever been a first-place team like this?

They got better (38-24) after Clayton Kershaw got hurt than before he got hurt (41-36)? Yup. ... They haven't had the same five starters go around the rotation twice, in the same order, in over three months? That would also be true, amazingly enough. ... Speaking of starters, they've ripped through 15 starting pitchers this season? Hey, of course they have. Before last season, only one playoff team in the division-play era (the 1989 Giants) had ever used that many starters in one year. Now the Dodgers have done it two seasons in a row! ... So it's only fitting that Dave Roberts just became the first manager ever to hook two different pitchers in one year who had gotten through at least seven hitless innings. If you're busy reinventing the concept of starting pitching, it goes with the territory! ... Finally, if this team hasn't set a record for program sales, it isn't for lack of trying. The Dodgers made more than 200 roster moves this season. We kid you not. We counted them ourselves. That's more than eight a week! ... Whoa. What a year.

San Francisco Giants

2016 plotline: Was it still an even year after July?

Until they stopped doing it, that is. No team in history has ever had the best record in baseball before the All-Star break and the worst record in baseball after the All-Star break. And thanks to the Twins' ability to keep relentlessly losing, the Giants will probably escape that fate. But just barely. On the other hand, do they even want to know that just five teams in the division-play era ever missed the playoffs after starting 57-33 or better? That's a fact. And two of them were the 1978 Red Sox team that lost to the Bucky Dent Yankees in a tiebreaker classic and the 1993 Giants team that won 103 games but went home because they did that in the last season before the invention of wild cards. So if the Giants don't make it into at least the second wild-card spot, we can only see one good thing that could come out of that: They won't have to answer any more odd-year/even-year questions for the rest of their lives.

Colorado Rockies

2016 plotline: The young and the altitude-less

Trevor Story is 23. He was leading the league in home runs before he hurt his thumb. ... David Dahl is 22. All he did was get a hit in the first 17 major league games he ever played in. ... Jon Gray is 24. In his first full season in the big leagues, he's piled up 185 strikeouts in 168 innings -- which would be the greatest strikeout ratio (10.09 per 9 IP) in Rockies history. ... Tyler Anderson is 26 and left-handed. Guess who leads all Rockies starters in ERA at Coors Field? Yessir, it's him. He's at 3.00 after 12 home starts. No one else is under 4.00. ... And there's one other player we ought to mention. He's 25 years old. He's the best defensive third baseman on earth. And he's about to lead the league in homers for the second year in a row. That would be Nolan Arenado. The face of the franchise. ... So does anyone else think there's a future here, after reading all that? You would be correct!

San Diego Padres

2016 plotline: Suspended animation

As Buster Olney reported, multiple sources have told ESPN that the Red Sox were not the only team that complained. And whether or not those complaints lead to further discipline, this is one GM who has a lot of work to do with his peers to restore credibility.

Arizona Diamondbacks

2016 plotline: Seemed like a good idea at the time

Then Miller (2-12, 6.52 ERA) pitched himself into Cy Yuk territory -- if not Centerpiece of the Worst Trade in History territory. Greinke's ERA in his new, not-so-friendly home park, is nearly 5.00. And, incredibly, he has given up more runs (44) in just his 13 starts in Arizona than he gave up all last season, home and away, in 32 starts as a Dodger (43). And how has it worked out for their team? They've spent exactly three days over .500 all season -- and they could wind up 30 games under .500. That's how. Well, they did what they did with only the finest intentions -- but wow.

AL EAST

Boston Red Sox

2016 plotline: Caution -- crooked numbers ahead

So how have the Red Sox done it? Well, they're the only team in baseball -- and the first since the 2005 Indians -- to get 50 extra-base hits from seven different players. ... They have three of the top five ( Mookie Betts, Dustin Pedroia, David Ortiz) in the AL batting race. ... And Betts and Pedroia should wind up as the only teammates with 200 hits apiece. ... In other news, Betts could win the MVP award. Hanley Ramirez could win the Comeback Player of the Year award. And Ortiz -- who leads the entire sport in slugging, OPS, doubles and extra-base hits -- is merely having the Greatest Farewell Season of All Time. So there's so much thunder emanating from this team, they ought to be televised by the Weather Channel.

Toronto Blue Jays

2016 plotline: Are we sure this is a hockey town?

No, that's not how many home runs they've hit. It's the number of lovestruck fans who have bought tickets to sit in the Rogers Centre and crank up the greatest ballpark atmosphere in baseball. The Blue Jays haven't drawn this many people into their home sweet dome since Joe Carter's famous homer dropped to earth in 1993. They're about to lead the American League in attendance for the first time in over two decades. And they've drawn more than 40,000 people to 36 of their past 38 home games (not even counting those three "home games" in Seattle last week). Amazing what can happen when a team flips this many bats, smokes this many baseballs into the fifth deck and assembles this many big personalities on one roster. Eh?

Baltimore Orioles

2016 plotline: Mumbo Trumbo

Cruz, you'll recall, showed up in Baltimore as a late-breaking, heavily discounted free agent, in 2014. And Davis arrived from Texas in 2011 via a not-very-ballyhooed trade for Koji Uehara. So the Orioles have long been renowned for discovering classic Camden Yards swings in the old bargain bin. But Trumbo has out-bargained them all, coming over in an offseason deal for a backup catcher ( Steve Clevenger). Then, naturally, he went out and had a season (46 HR, 169 whiffs, just 1.3 wins above replacement) in which, essentially, he was more Chris Davis-esque than even Chris Davis. And on a team where just about everybody except the bat boys hits 20, 30 or 40 homers, boy, was he a perfect fit.

New York Yankees

2016 plotline: A tale of two seasons -- Dr. A-Rod and Mr. Sanchez

They're five games over .500 since The Sell-off. And we would tell you that's totally crazy, except then we remembered the two words that explain everything: Gary Sanchez. Their rookie catcher didn't hit his first home run until Aug. 10. And now he has 20! Our friends from the Elias Sports Bureau tell us that his 20 homers are the most by any player in history who hit zero homers before Aug. 1. They also tell us that the only Yankees who ever to hit 20 home runs between Aug. 10 and the end of any season were two nobodies named Babe Ruth (1927) and Roger Maris (1961). And then there's this: If Sanchez hits two more this weekend, he would tie Beltran for the team lead. According to Elias, only two players in the live ball era have ever led a team in homers (or tied) despite hitting none for that team before August: Mark Whiten, for the 1995 Phillies (11) and Danny Litwhiler, for the 1946 Braves (8). OK, come to think of it, we're going to use that word, "crazy," after all.

Tampa Bays Rays

2016 plotline: The Archery lesson

He may go down as the first 19-game loser since Darrell May in 2004. But he also almost led the league in strikeouts (with 233, second behind Justin Verlander). And we only uncovered three pitchers in modern history who could relate to that. Your complete list of pitchers (besides Archer) who lost 19 games or more, led their league in losses and punched out that many hitters: Phil Niekro (20 losses, 262 K in 1977), Mickey Lolich (19 losses, 230 K in 1970) and Big Ed Walsh (20 losses, 258 K in 1910). But if you think Archer's loss total is unjust, he might want to check out Ed Walsh's baseball-reference page sometime. Big Ed's ERA the year he lost 20? Would you believe 1.27? Nice offense!

AL CENTRAL

Cleveland Indians

2016 plotline: It wasn't the rotation after all

You could win a lot of free beverages down at the local tavern from folks who have no idea that the Indians are second in the AL in runs scored. But that's an actual fact. ... They're also the only team in their league with four players who have stolen at least 15 bases. But word of that hasn't appeared to spread, either. ... Their team leader in OPS is, of course, Tyler Naquin. ... Their team leader in RBIs, Mike (Party At) Napoli, is a fellow who had never driven in 100 runs in 10 previous big league seasons. ... The guy who might have turned out to be their most important player, Jose Ramirez, has started games at four positions. ... And they just keep on winning, even though their biggest star, shortstop Francisco Lindor, is 3 for his past 50, and they haven't started the same eight position players in the same eight positions for more than two games in a row all season. We'd guess there's an excellent chance you never noticed any of this. But watch out for the Indians, gang. We might be about to find out in October that this team has more 2015 Royals in it than 2015 Mets.

Detroit Tigers

2016 plotline: How Dave Dombrowski saved their season

There is the likely Rookie of the Year, Michael Fulmer. When Yoenis Cespedes exited for New York, he entered. Good thing. The Tigers are 19-7 in games Fulmer has started. ... There are also Daniel Norris and Matt Boyd. They're the answer to the trivia question, "Who did the Tigers get back for David Price?" The Tigers are currently 17-12 in games they've started -- which is approximately the same winning percentage (.586) the Red Sox have when Price has pitched (20-14, .588). ... Now ask yourself this: Is there any chance -- repeat, any -- that this team would still be alive in this wild-card race if it hadn't been able to drop those three arms into its rotation? Our vote: Absotively not.

Kansas City Royals

2016 plotline: Down go the champs

But despite all the calamities that befell them, it was really one disastrous month that kept them from at least showing up in another wild-card game. That month was July. When they went an inconceivable 7-19 -- and never recovered. Only one other defending World Series champ ever had a calendar month in which it went 12 games under .500, Elias reports. And that was a 1998 Marlins team that had just completed a Wayne Huizenga fire sale. Even more amazingly, the Royals staggered through that entire month without winning two games in a row. Just two other incumbent champs ever went through any month without a two-game winning streak, according to Elias -- the 1947 Cardinals (April) and the 1918 White Sox (September). But that wasn't the same thing, either, because those Cardinals played just 11 games that month, and those White Sox played only three. So we think it's official. This was the worst month of baseball any defending championship team has ever played. A moment of silence, please.

Chicago White Sox

2016 plotline: Remember the scissorhands

No, the world is going to remember these White Sox for their extraordinary knack for inner turmoil. For Sale slicing up his favorite Turn Back the Clock Day jerseys. For Adam LaRoche deciding he would rather give back $13 million and retire than play for a team that wouldn't let his son hang out in the clubhouse. And for all his teammates threatening to boycott spring training if their team president, Kenny Williams, didn't apologize and roll back those LaRoche family restrictions. So has any team in recent memories dealt with two incidents that rebellious in the same season? Hmmm. None come to our mind. How about you?

Minnesota Twins

2016 plotline: Beware of the Dozier!

After all, once Dozier learned the art of turning on the baseball a few years back, his home run total jumped every year -- from 18 to 23 to 28 to 42. But here's the part of his season that's totally mind-blowing: As recently as June 25, he'd hit only? eight homers. And since then? He has pounded 34, in 85 games. That's only one fewer homer than Babe Ruth hit in his last 85 games in 1927, the year he hit 60. So as we were saying earlier, Rogers Hornsby. Ryne Sandberg. Davey Johnson. Babe Ruth. And Brian Dozier. Those 42 homers may not have stopped the Twins from losing 100 games. But this is still one of the great stories of the year.

AL WEST

Texas Rangers

2016 plotline: The power of one

In games decided by one run, the Texas Rangers are 36-11. Which, fortunately for them, is the greatest winning percentage (.766) in one-run games in the history of baseball. And because of that spiffy record in one-run games, the Rangers also have done something else that's incredibly hard to pull off: They've won 94 games (with three to play) -- despite a run differential of just plus-11. So you want to know how hard that is? The worst previous run differential in history by a 94-win team was plus-49, by the 1990 White Sox. And if the Rangers get to 95 wins this weekend, no team has ever done that with a run differential worse than plus-66 (1977 Orioles). So how strong is the Power of One? Stronger than even Adrian Beltre!

Seattle Mariners

2016 plotline: Pick your favorite Seager brother

Corey has a slightly more attractive slash line (.311/.369/.519/.888) than Kyle (.280/.361/.504/.865). But Kyle has more homers (30-26), more walks (67-54), fewer strikeouts (104-131), more defensive runs saved (15-1) and more wins above replacement (6.9-6.3), according to baseball-reference.com. So it's practically a dead heat. Which is pretty cool, don't you think? But you know what nobody has to debate? That their teams wouldn't be anywhere near this good without them.

Houston Astros

2016 plotline: Short and sweet

With three games left in the season, Altuve is heading for his second batting title in three years. But that ain't all. Along with that .337 batting average go 212 hits, 42 doubles, 24 homers, five triples, 28 steals, 71 extra-base hits and a .930 OPS. And you know how many players in history have cranked out a stat line like that? The answer, ladies and gentlemen, is none. Nada. A couple of ex-Rockies, Larry Walker and Ellis Burks, came close. But what we're witnessing is an unprecedented season for a man of his size -- or any size.

Los Angeles Angels

2016 plotline: Not enough Trout in this sea

It's now a lock that Trout is going to lead the league in wins above replacement for the first time since, well, last year. Which was the first time since the year before that. And the year before that. And the year before that. So if you're adding up those years at home, you know this is going to make five years in a row. And you know how far back you have to go to find any other position player who led his league in WAR five years in a row? Oh, only 85. To a guy named Babe Ruth. We'll even craftily ignore the fact that the Babe pulled off that feat about three-quarters of a century before the invention of wins above replacement -- because for all of those years, he was the only other hitter who had ever done it. Except now he has Mike Trout to keep him company. Maybe they can go out for a double cheeseburger.

Oakland Athletics

2016 plotline: How do you spell "Khris"?

The Brewers traded him to the A's in February because (A) they were doing a lot of that sort of thing and (B) there were always questions about whether Davis could close the many holes in his swing. All right, so his 164 strikeouts tell us those holes are still there. But when a guy can mash 41 home runs while playing in the cavernous O.co Coliseum, it's amazing how much easier it becomes to live with the swinging and missing. And here's why: Since the A's moved to Oakland, just four men had ever hit 40 homers in a season. There was Reggie Jackson. And Mark McGwire. And Jose Canseco. And Jason Giambi. And now there's Khris (with a K) Davis. Kool list!