Funnies: Rudy's Prenup with America

A roundup of the late-night comics.

Late Show

David Letterman: Sen. Hillary Clinton down there in Washington, D.C., appeared on the Senate floor wearing a pink blazer and a skimpy top. Yep, she looked so hot, Sen. Ted Kennedy sent over a drink.

The Tonight Show

Jay Leno: More bad news today for John McCain. John McCain's media team has resigned. But McCain says he intends to stay in the race, according to the campaign's new media spokesman, John McCain.

Late Show

Letterman: Well, over the weekend, President Bush had his annual physical, and he had one of those colonoscopies. ... It was a long, but successful procedure. They removed five polyps, and 10 Al Gore ballots.

The Daily Show

Jon Stewart: Tonight's episode begins at the Senate Judiciary Committee, where yesterday -- because it was a weekday -- Alberto Gonzales was called to testify.

The 1/2 Hour News Hour

Jennifer Lange: Republican presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani outlined his goals as president with his own version of a "Contract with America." Or as Rudy calls it, "my prenup with America." Read it first.

The Tonight Show

Leno: Anybody see the YouTube debate? ... Well, what it was was regular people could send in a video of a question they wanted to ask any one of the candidates. And I submitted a question. I was quite honored that my question was chosen. Take a look. ...
Leno [on video in his office]: I have a question for Hillary. Have you recently had relations with your husband Bill?
Sen. Hillary Clinton [at CNN debate]: Yes, I did try in '93 and '94, and I like to say I have the scars to show for it.