When Not to Get Naked in Public

August 27, 2009 — -- Q: I've never attended a professional tennis match, but I'll be vacationing in New York during the U.S. Open this year and a friend offered me a ticket. How should I behave in the stands?

A: Tennis is one of the few sports known for extremely polite fans, so I can see how attending the U.S. Open would be intimidating if you're used to, say, the fans at Fenway! In general, if you take cues from the people around you, you'll be fine, but here are some specific tips:

- Tennis is genteel—even the crowd is expected to show good sportsmanship. No heckling, no booing and no cheering when the player you don't like screws up. - You're a grown-up—you can delay your trip to the potty until the players are changing sides.- You are not at a hockey game—no starting a "Hey ref, you suck" chant. (Also, FYI, the guy in the chair is the chair umpire, not the ref.)- You're also not at the World Cup. Don't be a hooligan in the streets after the match. (Although the idea of tennis hooligans is awfully amusing… remember the SNL skit?)- Turn off your cell phone. May anyone whose "Peanut Butter Jelly Time" ringtone goes off while Roger Federer is trying to serve enjoy a lengthy flight delay, courtesy of mating turtles, next time they fly out of JFK.

Q: Whenever I go to the bathroom in a restaurant and encounter an attendant, I'm startled. I'd expect it in private clubs or really swanky places, but they're popping up everywhere! What's the etiquette here?

A: Nobody expects bathroom attendants! (Much like the Spanish Inquisition.)

The typical situation is that they've commandeered all the paper towels, so after you wash your hands, they hand you one. For this, you must tip them. You're not allowed to get out of tipping by 1) not washing your hands (ew) or 2) leaving the bathroom with dripping wet hands and drying them on the tablecloth.