How to Help Aging Parents From Afar

Dec. 22 -- In today's mobile society, many adult children face the dilemma of helping out their aging parents from afar.

And the holiday season, with the annual trip home to visit grandma and grandpa, presents an excellent opportunity for children to evaluate their parents and how well they're doing on their own.

"What's great about holidays and family gatherings are that people are together for an extended period of time and can often identify areas of concern that they would not otherwise see," says Charles Puchta, author of The Aging America Resource Guide and its accompanying Web site, www.agingusa.com. "So often people can keep their guard up for a short time, but not for a longer time, so all of a sudden more things are visible."

So common is this annual pilgrimage home that the U.S. Administration on Aging has just released a guide for adult children designed to help initiate discussions about the future with their parents during their holiday visit.

Called Face the Facts: Topics to Discuss Now with Your Aging Parents (available at 800-677-1116 or www.eldercare.gov) , the guide is a checklist of financial, legal and health insurance considerations and questions for children and their parents to go over.

Universal Questions

Although situations vary greatly from family to family and resources vary widely depending on where parents live, there are certain universals to be addressed. First is your parents' ability to live independently, according to Karen Stevenson Brown, publisher of www.elderweb.com, a 10-year-old Web site with eldercare information. That starts with their home — how accessible is it? Will there be a need to remodel or even move?