Can Racial Sensitivity Go Too Far?

March 13, 2001 -- If a white woman with long hair flips her hair back in the presence of a black woman, might her actions be racially charged, or interpreted that way?

Perhaps, suggests author Lena Williams. Williams says because the media ideal is long, straight hair, a white woman may be insulting — even if she's not aware of it — a black woman, whose hair, she says, may be coarse or nappy.

Current census reports tell us the United States is more diverse than ever, so one might think in the new millennium we have figured out how to socialize with people of different races. But according to Williams, author of The Little Things: The Everyday Interactions That Get Under the Skin of Blacks and Whites, it's these kinds of gestures that keep racial tension alive and well. Read an excerpt.

"They're not the big issues. It's everyday interactions," says Williams, a New York Times reporter. "Things that we are doing that may be … aggressive, may be irritating, may be misinterpreted."

Locking Doors and Getting Too Personal

For example, when driving on the highway and passing others, says Ron Green, who is black, "I'll often see people reach over and … lock the car door." Green's interpretation is that his race is the catalyst for fear.

Green says he's also offended when a white person asks, "What's the latest dance?"

Another African-American man, Ronald Wyche, says he's insulted when whites ask his opinion of Nation of Islam leader Louis Farrakhan."They say, 'What about Farrakhan? Are you going to condemn him?'" He says he responds, "Why do I have to condemn him? Do you have to condemn [conservative televangelist Jerry] Falwell?"

Dr. Alvin Poussaint, a black Harvard psychiatrist, feels some whites get personal with black people too quickly.

"When a policeman calls me Alvin, I recoil. Because I know that tradition in the South and around the country was not to address black people as Mr., Mrs. or Miss … I find it disrespectful," he says.

"This is where the problem is," says Poussaint. "Black people were historically viewed as non-persons who whites could just ask anything and become over-familiar with."

To follow up on Williams' revelations about what gets under our skin, ABCNEWS asked an independent marketing firm to assemble a group of blacks and a group of whites from across the country, drawing on people of all ages and income levels.

Such slights, according to members of these focus groups, are commonplace. "I was looking through the store, and the storeowner said 'Everything in here is expensive,'" says one woman. "Just to assume because I'm black that I couldn't afford what you have in the store."

'It's a Black Thing'

Williams says many white people don't realize such actions can be interpreted as offensive. What they might consider chit-chat or pleasant cocktail conversation about one's job, for instance, can actually be perceived as insulting.

"It's the tilting of the head, the mouth kind of opens a little bit, the eyes squint, and they say, 'You work for who? You're the CEO?'" says Williams.

Focus groups also pointed out that racism is not a one-sided affair, as both blacks and whites can be guilty of making assumptions.

"When I was going to a fraternity party at a black fraternity," says a 34-year-old white man, John Rosenwinkle, "and was told, 'What are you doing here, cracker? You're trying to get into our party.' That offended me."

Likewise, says Larry Isard, it can be offensive for a white person to be told, "It's a black thing. You wouldn't understand."

"Why would I understand what somebody else is talking about?" asks Isard.

Are We Too Sensitive?

While some of these interactions may have racial overtones, ABCNEWS' Elizabeth Vargas asks: Can racial sensitivity go too far?

"I think sometimes, yes, based on what their past experiences might be," says Poussaint, adding that there are instances when some blacks might see nearly every issue in terms of race."

Williams says such slights and insults can often result in pent-up frustrations and hostility, but she suggests ways for moving beyond color lines.

"Some of this stuff we have to laugh about," she says. "First we laugh … then you can go to the big things."

This story originally aired on Downtown and ABCNEWS.com in July 2001.