At-Work Body Odor: When to Take the Hint
Getting nosy: what to do when a co-worker says you have body odor.
Feb. 14, 2008 — -- Dear WOUNDED: I'm offended! The guy in the next cube implied that I have body odor. SNIFF TEST
ANSWER: I know a lot of people struggle for breathing room at work, but in your case it sounds like things have really hit the fan. And I'm not surprised. Think about the air in your office. If it's like most offices (with those delightful suicide-thwarting windows) 90 percent of it is recirculated and the other 10 percent is "fresh." Fresh what? Fresh smog. Add a little essence de coworker and no wonder that emotions run high.
Just because a certain fly on the wall says you are part of the problem, don't fret. Use the three Do's and one Don't below to determine your options. For more, check out "The Power of Feedback" by Joseph Folkman (Joseph Wiley, 2006).
DON'T Blow off the feedback. Your first reaction to the hint that you stink may be to end his nose's ability to smell! We know what to do when someone tells us something we don't want to hear. Attack or run away. In nervous system language it's called "fight or flight." This works great if you are being chased by a dinosaur, but isn't so productive in an office setting. That's why it's important to take a step back, listen and think about the message you're receiving.
DO Find a mirror. A bit of self-examination is a great place to start. Notice self-examination, not self-flagellation. Is your hygiene up to snuff? Deodorant sufficient? Clothing? Finding spinach in your teeth is never fun—but it beats a salad-laced smile.
DO Find a window. Not an innuendo! It is always best to look out at the whole office. Trust me, if you're radiating an aroma or any other poor office etiquette, you'll hear it from more than one source. Your workplace is like a body and what effects one affects all. Check the office pulse. There are lots of subtle ways to check a pulse. Yuk it up at coffee break or lunch to get a read. Or just buttonhole someone you trust for an honest view.
DO Be grateful. Speaking of flies, I knew a pastor who was headed into talk with dying patients in an ICU—his fly was open. Do you know how difficult it is to tell a man of the cloth his fly is open? The only thing harder than being told you smell may be telling someone else they smell. Be thankful he was willing to risk the embarrassment to save you from embarrassment. And remember, they could be the co-worker who could give great feedback on other important issues. Do you really want to snuff out their willingness to give you insight in the future?
You can always fly off the handle. You could always let this be a fly in the ointment that's meant to make you better. Or you could take a deep breath and move onward and upward.
Thought for the Week
List of the Week
They asked you what?...The worst interview questions
"Would you join a church to get a job?"
"Are you single? Why not?"
"Why are you not yet married?"
"Would you be available from time to time to watch my children?"
"Are you willing to further this interview over dinner and do you mind me bringing my daughter along?"
"Would you be willing to stay overnight with a client if they request it?"
From: Monster
Bob Rosner is a best-selling author, speaker and internationally syndicated columnist. He'd love to hear your thoughts on this topic, especially if you have better ideas than he does. His books include "The Boss's Survival Guide" and "Gray Matters: The Workplace Survival Guide." Send your questions or comments to him via: bob@workingwounded.com.
ABCNEWS.com publishes a new Working Wounded column every Friday.This work is the opinion of the columnist and in no way reflects the opinion of ABC News.