Working Wounded: Fixing a Funk

— -- D E A R R E A D E R S: This is a first in my eight years of writing Working Wounded. I'm going to tell you about the funk (more than a bad day and less than a depression) that I'm struggling with and what I'm doing about it. I've never written anything this personal before, but through the years I've been so impressed by the honestly and openness of the people who write to me, that I felt it was time to return the favor.

Unfortunately, funks are like recessions. You can really only identify them after they've been going for a while. As a friend said, "According to most stress tests, you're dead." He had a point, I was adjusting to a new wife, new city, selling and buying a home, a major remodel, a new book and a new baby. I thought I was on top of it all, but I realized that I wasn't. Below I've listed what I've learned.

Learning from a Funk

Do you acknowledge you're in a funk? Roller coasters never just go up; neither does a life or a career. A certain number of funks come with the territory of being a human, in fact, these days I worry about people who never admit to being in a funk.

What kinds of problems are you facing? There are two kinds of problems, the right kind and the wrong kind. When you're facing the "wrong" kind of problems (a felony, bankruptcy, etc.) you've got to make major changes. Upon reflection I realized that all of my problems were the "right" kind so I only had to make a few tweaks to get back on track.

Can you accept that a lot of little stressors will take a toll? Looking back it's crazy that I didn't realize how much I was setting myself up for a funk. I learned from this experience that we're like frogs in a pot of water; we don't notice it when the heat is slowing being turned up. The earlier you do realize things are getting too hot, the sooner you can take steps to turn the heat down.

Can you be more patient with yourself? In a funk, hitting the ground running isn't an option. Be patient and you will hit your stride once again. Can you avoid making your family a dumping ground? I didn't kick the dog or disappear into the bottle or gym. I just wasn't myself and wasn't as present as I needed to be. I learned that when you're in a funk you have to put energy into working your way out both personally and professionally.

Can you remember your funk when you come across someone else who is in one? I'm now much more aware of the importance of reaching out to others who are in a funk. But don't try to fix their problems for them, offer your support and let them tell you what they need.

Talking about our career and personal stresses can help us become de-funked. Thank you readers, I feel better already.

Online Ballot and Contest

Here are the results from a recent workingwounded.com/ABCNEWS.com online ballot: Which is the most important thing to do when you are looking for a job?

Make it easy for people to see that you are qualified to do the job, 16.8 percent Be positive, 21.6 percent Get out and meet people, 26.4 percent Be persistent, 35.2 percent

Winning Strategy

Our winning strategy for getting a job comes from T.T. in Lodi, Calif. "My secret is my Rolodex. I keep in touch with most of the people that I've worked with through the years. But not just coworkers, I also keep in touch with customers, vendors and anyone else that I've come across. It does take time and effort, but you won't believe how many times my network has come through with a key bit of information or even a job. In retail it's location, location, location. At work it's networking, networking, networking."

List of the Week

Bob Rosner is a best-selling author, speaker and internationally syndicated columnist. His newest best seller, GRAY MATTERS: The Workplace Survival Guide (Wiley, 2004), is a business comic book that trades cynicism for solutions. Ask Bob a question: bob@workingwounded.com or http://graymattersbook.com

ABCNEWS.com publishes a new Working Wounded column every Friday.