Neiman Marcus Releases Comically Costly Gift Guide for 90th Year

— -- Holiday gift giving is always a nightmare.

What do you get your sister-in-law? The neighbors? After all, they did let their dog run around your yard all year.

Well, Neiman Marcus has a solution for you: Today it published the 90th edition of its annual holiday gift-giving guide, replete with ideas and products for that person in your life you're willing to drop a cool five or six figures on.

For that new niece or nephew you might have, how about a “curated collection” of first editions or early printings of children’s books spanning 80 years? It’ll set you back $100,000, but it’s good to introduce kids to the finer things early on in life.

While Christmas Day is full of cheer for most, your curmudgeonly uncle can be such a drag. “For the pessimist,” Neiman Marcus’ 2016 Christmas Book recommends a $25,000 mattress that features a built-in lockbox.

“To the pessimist, the end is always near,” the store advises. “Stock your valuables away in a fireproof and impenetrable lockbox built inside a king-size mattress with matching foundation.”

Finally, what does Dad want? He's always been an enigma, but he loves football.

For a mere $65,000, you can let him and three friends train with famed quarterback Joe Montana for a day.

While it’s easy to poke fun at the prices and the products, each purchase of the outlandish gifts sees Neiman Marcus make donations to its charity, the Heart of Neiman Marcus Foundation.