Farrelly Brothers Make Twin Killing

Dec. 12, 2003 -- Now in theaters: Stuck On You and Something's Gotta Give.

Stuck On You

The Farrelly brothers haven't made a movie I've liked since There's Something About Mary. In this one, talk about scraping the bottom, Matt Damon and Greg Kinnear play — are you ready? — conjoined twins, joined at the hip. Cheap jokes? Wal-Mart doesn't sell jokes this cheap.

But this film is always good-natured, even sweet, and, you know what, I liked it. This means the Farrelly brothers have either lost their touch or their minds. The real credit goes to Damon and Kinnear who are terrific in this film. They pull it off … better make that … put it together. Nice cameos from Cher and Meryl Streep, too.

There is no ending. Instead, when the movie is over, there are skid marks on the screen, but I liked it anyway. Grade: B Something's Gotta Give

I'll get right to the point: I loved this movie. Jack Nicholson — in the role he's been preparing for his entire life — plays Jack Nicholson!

The setup: Nicholson is dating Diane Keaton's daughter. He has a heart attack. The doctor asks if he's taken Viagra.

"I don't need Viagra," says Nicholson, with Keaton and her daughter listening.

"Good," says the doctor, who explains that Nicholson has nitroglycerin in his IV drip and if it were combined with Viagra, it would be fatal. What follows is one of the great moments in movie comedy: The timing, the cutting and the acting are perfection, and there is more where that came from, lots more.

Keanu Reeves plays Nicholson's doctor, and he falls in love with Keaton, though she's old enough to be his mother. Nicholson eventually falls in love with Keaton, too, even after an accidentally nude scene when he wanders into her bedroom.

"I've never seen a woman that old naked before," Nicholson confesses to Reeves.

"Really?"

"We can't all be doctors!" Nicholson grins that grin.

On Oscar night, though, it's Keaton who may be smiling. She's that good. The film's that good.

Writer-director Nancy Meyers does get into trouble when she tries to add psychological relevance to the boy-meets-girl, boy-loses-girl, boy-gets-girl triangle. The comedy ends a half-hour before the movie does.

But Keaton and Nicholson are so wonderful to watch. It's hard to blame Meyers for not wanting to let them go. Ever. We sure don't. Grade A-.