Dean McDermott Reveals Deceptive Alter Ego 'Deano' on 'True Tori' Premiere

April 23, 2014 — -- "True Tori," the Lifetime series where cameras record Tori Spelling dealing with the aftermath of husband Dean McDermott's infidelity, premiered Tuesday night and it was one for the ages.

"I don't know what I'm going to say to him today," Tori Spelling says as she drives to pick up McDermott after he's been in rehab for three months following an affair he had last year.

Spelling is conflicted as she is "excited" to see her husband -- but knows that makes her sound "weak."

"I miss him. I miss having my best friends," she says, tearing up. "That was just stripped from me. After 7 years and it was just gone one day."

Read: Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott: How He Chose His Mistress

McDermott and Spelling have four kids and have been married for seven years, but Spelling says "in one moment everything changed" -- a reference to Emily Goodhand, who spoke out last year about her affair with McDermott.

"I know our marriage is worth fighting for," Spelling says.

Then the show takes you back to her first interview at the beginning of April, where she asked the audience not to feel sorry for her as she tried to figure out what to do about her marriage.

She also talked about how she found out Dean had cheated and how she confronted him.

"Every tabloid got it wrong, until one week they got it right," she says.

Related: How Tori Spelling Confronted Husband Dean McDermott for Cheating

"I got a call from my publicist and she said 'I just want to tell you something. It's a girl and she's claiming that she had an affair with Dean in Toronto when he was there ... The girl has come forward, she's put her name to the story. She's giving all the details about her two-day affair with your husband in Toronto and it's going to come out next week, Christmas,'" Spelling admits.

Kidding to her husband, Spelling said, "Who did you f*** in Toronto last week? ... I didn't think for a second that it was true."

The second time she got a call, Spelling asked him to tell her the truth and even though he denied it, she noticed his right eyebrow was shaking.

Then after pressing him, he told her everything and went into treatment.

"I didn't want him to know how much my heart was broken," Spelling says of how she acted when he told her.

Spelling spent Christmas with the kids apart from her husband while he was in treatment. She still calls McDermott her "soul mate" and "the love of my life," but that she doesn't know if she'll be able to trust him.

The premiere shows friends warning her that this might not have a happy ending, even though she wants to fight for her marriage.

Spelling also sits down with McDermott, who is dealing with his alcoholism, depression and addiction, in the episode and he says: "I've hurt you so bad. ... I cheated on you and I lied to you. ... I don't want to lose you."

The doctor who is treating McDermott also reveals an alter ego "Deano."

"Deano wanted to be known as the tough guy, intimidating bully," McDermott says, adding Spelling has never liked that nickname.

"Yeah, I was that guy, I was Deano," he admits.

The episode ends with Spelling not quite ready to let her husband back in the house.