Showbiz Commentary: Heidi Oringer
Oct. 25, 2001 -- Have you ever had a haircut and had to put your shirt back on then go all day with those little cut hairs sticking you in the back and neck?
You go to the bathroom, take your shirt off, shake it out, splash your back with water, put the shirt back on, and one minute later, it feels like all the hairs are sticking you again. No matter what you do, you just feel uncomfortable, like you need to change your clothes. That's the way I felt after watching the VH-1/Vogue Fashion Awards. Homage to the Ultra Hip
The show kicked off with the coolest man in rock, Mr. Lenny Kravitz, singing from the roof of a 40-story building. As I'm not a fan of heights, this didn't sit especially well with me, although conceptually it was neat-o. Unfortunately, it also didn't appear as though he was singing. One of my pet peeves is, if you're going to perform at an event, then perform. But hey, from that high up, no one would've actually been able to hear him anyway.
So there we were, off and running with the The VH-1/Vogue Awards. The point of the show is not abundantly clear to me. Many never are. I can only figure that the awards are supposed to honor the ultra hip genre and alienate the rest of us.
Case in point, they give The Sharp Dressed Man Award to Puff Daddy, Puffy, Sean Combs, P.Diddy...him. Granted, when he dons a suit, he does indeed exude a style and savoir faire that is to be reckoned with. But, I have seen this guy in a white fur coat, looking much more like an undersized pimp in an oversized coat, than what one would consider a "stylish" man.
Combs has also been spotted, time and again in sports jerseys and pants that are so big in order to tie his shoes he must open his fly. His clothing line features this oversized look, which while popular, certainly wouldn't do for the average male. Imagine your boss in some Sean John jeans and a fur lid?Underwear as Outerwear
There was not an award for Stylish Female, instead they went with the category of Rock Style. The winner was the incredibly talented and attractive Gwen Stefani. Ms. Gwen surely has a style all her own, one that would be difficult to copy. After all, it is not every girl that can wear a fishnet halter-top with a sequin bra over it, and look like that's the norm for dressing these days.
Stefani definitely deserves to be recognized for her unique take on fashion. Of course, I myself have always gotten the impression that they were called undergarments because that's where they were meant to be worn … under your clothes. Ah well, another lesson learned.
Other award categories included Outrageous Group, which went to Destiny's Child. Now here are three ladies that always seem to be dressed to perfection. They are elegant and always look pretty, so to deem them "outrageous" seems odd because the ladies of D.C. seem far more chic than they do "outrageous," which in the dictionary is synonymous with disgraceful, shameful, shocking and offensive, among other words. The one time I can understand a group getting a fashion award, I can't understand the award they get. My Ruffle With Sex and the City
There was an award for Best Dressed TV Show, which went to the cast of Sex and the City. This four-some is clothed by designer Patricia Field. Their garments certainly do offer a certain panache, but I've seen Sarah Jessica Parker's character Carrie in some seriously funky get-ups (remember the short skirt with the ruffled tail or the pin-striped suit with the English flat cap?) Best Dressed for what? A float on the pond? A derby? I can't tell you the crap I'd get if I showed up for lunch with friends wearing ruffles on my ass.
There was a Visionary Award given to Moby for his innovative video, "South Side." I get that. And Marc Jacobs picked up Designer of the Year, which is refreshing since he actually makes some clothes that women can wear without a) requiring the removal of all major organs so as to fit into the outfit or b) having the neckline of a swan and the breasts of Venus.
Along the line of performers, one of the other things that didn't quite add up for me was Mariah Carey's act, lip-synching a remake of "Last Night a D.J. Saved My Life." She arrived onstage sitting on a glittery motorcycle and proceeded to clop around (I believe she was supposed to be strutting, but seemed to be a little uneasy in the heels), lip-synching. I can see Kravitz requiring track vocals from the sky, but why did Mariah have to fake it? (Perhaps its force of habit from her days with Tommy Mattola … ouch, I'm gonna pay for that one!)
I thought Mariah was trying to make a comeback with a new album and her first movie, which is already available on View Master. If you want to prove you're back in full form, then you've got to sing for the masses.
Other performers like Alicia Keyes, John Mellencamp, Sugar Ray, and even Macy Gray, whose vocals I can never understand, but always enjoy the unusual show, were phat.(I don't want to seem COMPLETELY out of touch.)
Overall, The VH-1/Vogue Awards was certainly a diversion from what's going on around the globe. I'm not sure if it was a pleasant one … or just one, in general. The thing is, all it did was make me realize that I'm so far out of the so-called fashion mix that I don't know which end is up.
And THAT can cause an incredible fashion problem.
Heidi Oringer is director of entertainment programming at ABCNEWS Radio.