Kidman Tells Oprah Divorce Is 'Awful'

May 21, 2001 -- Nicole Kidman became agitated and emotional on Oprah Winfrey's syndicated talk show Friday as she openly discussed her highly publicized separation from star Tom Cruise, who filed for divorce in February.

In an appearance to promote her new film, the Baz Luhrmann musical Moulin Rouge, a calm and smiling Kidman quickly became shaken when Winfrey began asking about the demise of her high-profile Hollywood marriage.

"I think that divorce is hard for anyone. It's a nightmare, it just is, and you can pretend you're fine. And days you're great [and] days you're not great," the red-haired star said, fidgeting in her chair.

Kidman was pregnant earlier this year, and she ultimately miscarried Cruise's baby following the demise of their marriage, according to court documents filed by the actress.

In a written response to a divorce petition filed by Cruise on the grounds of irreconcilable differences, Kidman said she was stunned when he told her that he no longer wanted to be married, and allegedly begged him to stay and seek marriage counseling. He refused and left for good, according to her response.

The two had celebrated their 10th anniversary on Dec. 24 of last year by renewing their vows in a romantic Christmastime ceremony, according to Kidman. Afterwards, the couple conceived a baby, according to court papers filed by the actress. However, Cruise's February divorce filing said the two had split in December — just before their anniversary.

Under California law, after 10 years of marriage, a spouse is forced to pay alimony until the partner remarries.

Cruise and his attorney have made cryptic comments to the press stating that Kidman "has always known exactly why the parties are divorcing." Neither has provided elaboration.

When asked by Winfrey whether she thought she would always be married, Kidman timidly replied, "Yeah." The Aussie star seemed nervous as she spoke, occasionally grabbing Winfrey's hands, shifting in her chair, sighing, and expressing shock at the host's probing questions.

When Winfrey asked whether she hoped to reconcile with Cruise, Kidman replied, "Shush!"

'Something Really Bad' Disrupts Charmed Life"I've had a blessed life," Kidman said, regaining her composure, and yet, "I've always thought [if] something bad is going to happen, something bad is going to happen. But then something really bad happened. A number of really bad things happened. You go, 'I'm dealing with it. I'm stronger than I thought.' Ultimately that's where wisdom comes from, doesn't it?" she said.

Kidman refused to elaborate, stating, "I'm in a position where if I start to answer any of this stuff … we have two children, 8 and 6, [and] they are the most important things to us. As a mother my job now is to protect them … from any … scrutiny they are going to get and in terms of what they're going to read.

"All I will say is it's been awful — one of those things where you just say, 'I cannot believe this is happening to me,' but I will move forward day by day," she added.

Kidman also said that she was overwhelmed by the enormous amount of support she has received, adding that she was equally stunned when some people she thought were her friends turned away: "Surprisingly, some people I thought would be there have not been. It's hurtful. And people I would never have thought have been a life force."

Reuters contributed to this story.