Show Business Commentary: Heidi Oringer

June 28, 2000 -- Walter Matthau is dead, but Luther Vandross is NOT.

We at ABC received several confirmations regarding both before we released a story on either.

The Matthau news was sad and he will be sorely missed by those of us who appreciated his wonderful humor through the years. And I am certain none of us feels this loss quite as much as his pal and co-comedy-conspirator, Jack Lemmon, who must now go on as the shorter half of The Odd Couple or as the solo Grumpy Old Man.

Then there’s the Luther Vandross thing … and I call it a “thing” because it became an entity that took on a life of its own. The week before the 4th, a rumor started churning that Luther was gone, dead, finished, sans oxygen, il mortale, bagged and tagged — you get the point.

Who Started It?

We called several record companies trying to get a “yea” or “nay” on the dead thing and some specifics. Nothing! No one knew for sure. They heard “something,” but they weren’t positive. They heard “nothing,” but while they had us on the phone, they wanted us to tell them where we heard it, who from, when, how he died.

Finally, we were able to contact Luther’s management company and they confirmed that he was very much alive. They also mentioned that his family was none too happy that people made up the story, and, most importantly, that they had just seen him and he looked especially great for being allegedly dead.

But that didn’t stop the rumor mill from cranking&

As a matter of fact, it wasn’t until Luther’s LIVE appearance last weekend at the Essence Music Festival that people finally stopped spreading the tale. (Let’s face it, it’s hard to get people to believe someone’s dead when, at virtually the same time, a stadium full of people are watching the very same dead man, belting out “If Only For One Night,” at peak performance level.)

Luther jokingly addressed the story of his demise during the intro to the tune at which time he said it made him “feel good” to sing the song&”And I sound real good for someone who’s dead.”

What started it, though?

If a Guy Loses Weight …

Most likely a few persons probably noticed that Luther has trimmed down a whopping 124 pounds. I guess if you are a man and you lose too much weight, you are automatically deemed, “close to death’s door.”

Oddly enough though, if a man gets fat, you never hear people say, “Oh, he must be sick and is forced to take steroids by mouth which are obviously the cause of his puffy look.” Instead they say, “Geez & he really porked out! Shame ‘cause he’s not a bad lookin’ guy.” That’s interesting because if Roseanne or Oprah lose weight, no one thinks they’re sick. For them, people think it’s about time the ladies finally found a diet that works.

Back to the rumor thing & they’re vicious really. You never hear a good rumor like someone is doing well, looking great or financially successful. It’s only the bad ones. “She’s gay. He’s dead. They split up.” It makes you wonder. It’s not like we don’t have enough crap to deal with on a daily basis.

I can honestly say I’ve never had the pleasure of getting up in the morning and thinking, “Heavens … my life is just so damn good today, I think I’ll ruin someone else’s. I know, I’ll tell everyone Luther Vandross is dead. Yes, that’s exactly what I’ll do. Now, where’s my coffee?”

And Luther’s not the only one who was declared dead without being near it. Remember a couple years back when they said Scott Baio died in a car accident? Now he’s always been thin and he certainly didn’t have the reputation for getting into regular collisions, so why’d they pick him?

Or how about the classic one that Mikey, of Life cereal fame, died from eating Pop Rocks and drinking a cola? He was just a kid … didn’t do anything but act cute. But the rumor mongers killed him.

So, the good news is Luther is still around and singing his lungs out.

Of course, now someone will read this and tell someone else that Luther Vandross died because his lungs shot right out of his mouth during a concert. What’s even worse is that Scott Baio was driving by at the time and the lungs landed on his windshield and he couldn’t see and got into an accident and died. And to beat all that, Mikey witnessed the whole thing and was so shocked, he choked to death while eating Pop Rocks and drinking a soda.

And that, is how it starts. …

Heidi Oringer is director of entertainment programming at ABCNEWS Radio.