My Name Is Phillip, and I am an Addict ... and a Co-Dependent

June 8, 2007 — -- Unfulfilled and bored by this year's summer of sequels at the Cineplex, I yearned for something real. Something different. Something just a few paces off the beaten path.

"Crazy Love," the third directorial effort from New York native and PR kingpin Dan Klores was just what I needed. (It's miles off the beaten path. We're talking virgin path here.)

The film is a documentary about a complicated, quirky Bronx love story — boy (Burt Pugach) meets girl (Linda Riss). Boy falls in love with girl. Girl leaves boy. Boy pays thugs to blind girl with lye. Boy goes to jail. Girl doesn't find better meal ticket during boy's 14-year incarceration. Girl marries boy.

These dysfunctional lovers are drawn together by lust and need, separated by unhealthy obsession but drawn back together under the glare of media co-dependency.

As I sat in the theater, I realized that 50 years after Burt blinded Linda, this sad, dysfunctional tale is something I could have watched on "Oprah," "Maury" or even worse, "The Jerry Springer Show." Today, we look at the years following World War II as a simpler time in America, a time when people's biggest problems were like those seen on TV — what June Cleaver would cook for dinner and whether the Beaver would do his homework. Tawdry affairs and violence were for gangsters.

This love story made me laugh as if I were watching a gritty segment of "Seinfeld," "The Nanny" or Linda Richman's coffee talk on "Saturday Night Live." Burt and Linda's friends and family were clichéd caricatures, straight out of central casting .

But as the story unfolds, complete with pain and suffering, the laughter gives way to a sobering awe that leaves your mouth agape as you watch the proverbial train wreck in shock and repulsion, just as I did earlier that morning as I voyeuristically watched "Divorce Court," which triggered a heated argument with my TV. Why does she stay with him? I wouldn't take that! Is he for real? I am living vicariously through families I don't even know, with problems I hope I will never experience.

My name is Phillip. I am an addict. And a co dependent. I am addicted to soap operas, and co-dependent on "Oprah." I am guilty of watching people's most personal trials and tribulations play out in the glare of the public (well, television studio) spotlight.

What is this morbid curiosity we as Americans and human beings possess? Lord knows, we have enough of our own problems. Immersing ourselves in other people's dramas has become the great American past time (apologies to baseball), but frankly, it's a Catch-22 of dysfunction and co-dependency, which leaves everyone feeling empty.

The incessant media coverage of Anna Nicole's death was prime evidence, as is the kafuffle over Paris and her three-day jail term. But who's the bigger co-dependent? Is it Lindsay and Britney, both of whom seem to flourish from the fact that every one of their pathetic choices is heralded in bold type in the tabloids and blogosphere? Or is it the paparazzi, reporters and media who benefit from these blatant exhibitions of normal teen angst, growing pains and personal trauma and tribulations?

Clearly, the problem of these pop tart princesses are not that different from everyday, everyman problems across this vast country of ours. Are we so desperate that we must immerse ourselves in all this karmic chaos to feel better about ourselves? And what if we look at the bigger picture? America is co-dependent on the Middle East for oil, though so many in the region detest our nation, from our government to our society. But keep in mind, many of these countries are dependent upon us for everything from software to music ... even jeans.

Now that is dysfunction. Even more than the divas and the paparazzi, Burt and Linda, even two of my hillbilly cousins in Maine whom I shall not name here for fear of ruining Thanksgiving.

On a whim, I recently looked up the symptoms of co-dependency, and I'm sad to report, my blogging buddies, we Americans fit the bill. And our 'Murder and Thief' (Commander and Chief) is one of the biggest offenders.

Symptoms:1. Controlling behavior. We are constantly telling other countries what they can and can't do.

2. Distrust. We have alienated many of our long-term allies. We even had to change french fries to freedom fries, we were so at odds with the French.

3. Perfectionism. Though there is nothing wrong with being the best you can be, we are constantly in competition — sporting events, all the awards shows, reality shows, even televised spelling bees — and hold ourselves to standards that are near impossible to achieve. So inevitably, we fail and fall, and the vicious cycle of co-dependency continues on in the headlines.

4. Hypervigilance. What I can I say? Just turn on the cable news channels, where every five minutes we are reminded that we are living in a heightened security state. "Bird Falls From Sky … Code Orange!"

Can we ever stop this circle of dysfunction? Or is this now part of the circle of life? Have we created an environment that sets us up to be addicted to something? Food, sex, drugs or pop culture? If that is true, then we are all either addicts or co-dependent.

Wouldn't it be healthier to just be be mutually interdependent?

Click here to visit Phillip Bloch's website.