LEAVE YOUR MARK: Life Coach
— -- As the Palomar College soccer players trot back to the sideline after warming up before a game last November, they are greeted by their coach, 48-year-old Carlos Hernandez. "Come on, guys, make up on, let's get ready to go," he jokes.
"You one hundred percent today?" he asks one player. "What about you, knucklehead?" he asks another, slapping him on the shoulder.
During the game, Hernandez encourages his players in Spanish and English from the sidelines. "Bien," "Good defense," "Way to play." When they make a mistake or allow a goal, he does not get angry or berate his players. Instead, he instructs them on how to make a play the right way. Based on the coach's positive, upbeat manner, you would never know that Palomar, a public two-year community college in San Marcos, Calif., about 30 miles north of San Diego, is mired in its first losing season under Hernandez. The game this day turns out the same as so many others this season, a 3-0 defeat.
While every loss is painful for the competitive Hernandez, he is not consumed with wins and losses. He is far more concerned with making sure his players, most of whom are low-income Latinos, win in life. In his 14 years coaching at Palomar, Hernandez has helped dozens of kids and their families deal with challenges and overcome obstacles. "I can relate to these guys," he says.
Hernandez knows all about overcoming challenges. Born in San Luis Potosi, he was seven when his single mother moved him and his two-year-old brother to a slum in the border town of Piedras Negras. They lived in a building that was a former prostitution bar and the single small room they rented was one of those which the prostitutes had used to earn a living. "It was the only place we could afford," he says.
Growing up surrounded by addicts injecting themselves with heroin and men offering him hits from their marijuana cigarettes, Hernandez says, "I feel blessed because I could have easily fallen into that because I saw it all the time." Instead he learned at a young age to be responsible and care for others. When his mother went to work in a restaurant, she locked her two children in the room for the day with instructions for Hernandez to take care of his younger brother. At an age when most kids are out playing or in school, Hernandez was preparing bottles and changing diapers.
When Hernandez was 14, the family moved to Vista, Calif., outside San Diego, to live with his grandparents. He played soccer for his school team and was a successful goalkeeper and midfielder. But he discovered his true love when during his junior year of high school he was asked by his brother's YMCA soccer coach to be his assistant. "I thought it was the greatest thing that these kids listened to me and actually did what I asked them," he says. "I loved coaching them at this age because their minds were liked sponges and I knew I could have a good influence."
After high school, Hernandez played for Palomar College and continued coaching for several area youth soccer teams. He always made time to talk to kids and listened patiently if they wanted to talk. The more he coached, the more he found his young players approaching him to talk about their problems off the field, such as their struggles in school or immigration problems their parents were facing. Hernandez always did whatever he could to help.
When one young player he coached came to him and told him he was having problems with drugs and mumbled about killing himself, Hernandez talked to the young man at length and calmed him down. Soon after, he received a letter from the young man thanking him for saving his life. "I've saved that letter to this day," admits Hernandez.
"Young people just feel like they can talk to me," he says. "They know that I am going to listen to them and not judge them. I show them respect and don't treat them like kids. I'm also very honest with them. I'm a straight shooter."
Hernandez went on to take an assistant coaching job at a rival community college and after five years in which he helped that school consistently beat Palomar, he was offered Palomar's head coaching job in 1994. In just his second year, he led the team to a league championship, and repeated the feat the next year. The following year, the team made it to the state championship game. Over his 14-year career at Palomar, Hernandez has built a record of (208-wins/82-losses) and has been voted Pacific Coast Conference coach of the year seven times.
During that time he has also coached an area high school team, several youth clubs and conducted countless free soccer clinics for at-risk kids. He always stresses the importance of education and tells young people they are students first and soccer players second. "In order to be successful you need to have a good foundation and that is what I am trying to give these kids," he says. "I want them to know they can succeed."
Nineteen-year-old Ricardo Calleja plays for Hernandez at Palomar and says the coach "has been there like a dad for me and my family."
Calleja's life turned upside down when federal immigration agents showed up at his house just minutes after he had blown out the candles on his 18th birthday cake and deported his mother to Mexico because they said she was in the U.S. illegally. As a single mother, she had been the sole source of income for Calleja and his two younger brothers, 15 and 12. Calleja had planned to go to a four-year college, but now he could no longer afford to.
He was about to toss his dreams of college aside, drop out of high school and start working to support his younger brothers when Hernandez heard about his situation. Hernandez, who knew an uncle of Calleja's through coaching, talked to Calleja and other family members non-stop about how important it was that he finish school and attend college. Thanks in large part to Hernandez's influence, Calleja graduated high school and ended up enrolling at Palomar, which was easier for him to afford. After Palomar, he plans to go on to a four-year college on a soccer scholarship, which Hernandez helped arrange, and is looking forward to a career in public relations. "He has really inspired me to keep going," says Calleja.
It is success stories such as this that confirm for Hernandez that his priorities have been in the right place the last 30 years. Helping young people win on the soccer field is important, but coaching them through life's challenges has no comparison.
"When I die, I want people to remember me for the good things I have done and the positive influence I have had on people," says Hernandez. "What better way to leave your mark on this world than by making a difference in the lives of kids who no one else believes in? I feel like I was meant to do this."