Late-Age Divorce Growing American Trend

July 26, 2003 -- After 49 years of a seemingly ideal marriage, 71-year-old Francis Thomas was shocked when her husband suggested divorce.

"We had some problems communicating, but we were together for 49 years," she said. "In many ways, [divorce] is worse than having someone die."

Psychologist Ken Dychtwald says late-age divorce is a growing trend in the United States. His book Age Power focuses on pressing issues among older Americans, specifically on the growing rate of "gray divorces."

According to the U.S. Census, the number of senior citizens has risen 34 percent, the equivalent of 2.2 million people from 1990 to 2000.

"There are three reasons for the rise in the divorce rate among older Americans," he said. "People are living longer than before and managing to maintain their youthfulness. We are changing the way we view commitments … And there's a growing social support for a new model of maturity."

Divorce is not only a growing trend among elders, but becoming more "acceptable" as well, Dychtwald says.

More Daring Since Divorce

For Tom Campbell, whose wife left him after 25 years of marriage, divorce might not have been their choice, but starting over could be.

"I'm not happy being alone, but I've gotten more involved … my son says I'm a daredevil now," said Campbell, 56. "So I've gotten more daring since my divorce."

Loneliness is very common among older divorcees, Dychtwald says. He suggests the reason for this loneliness might be limited access to social networks.

"If you're 40, you go to work and generally have a large network of friends and co-workers," he said. "People in their later years usually have less contact with peers and have a tendency to limit their activities, so they are especially vulnerable to depression."

Strengthening Social Circles

While Thomas admits she is still "in denial" about the divorce, she also says she is trying to distract herself by spending more time with her children, her new dog, and her closest friends.

For Campbell, joining the nationwide organization Parents Without Partners was his way of reaching during his time of need.

"[Parents Without Partners] is a very supportive group," he said. "You meet a lot of nice people and get into society again."

Dychtwald also says in his book that finances are a concern among divorced seniors, especially those who have never worked.

"The unraveling of financial dynamics can be very tough," Dychtwald said. "It's complicated to deal with pension plans, health benefits and splitting up saving."

Mellody Hobson, president of Ariel Capital Management and Good Morning America's financial contributor, offers some advice for suddenly single seniors. She suggests delaying retirement, considering a reverse mortgage, saving more, and reassessing asset allocations, but not abandoning stocks.

For more information about Parents without Partners, go to http://www.parentswithoutpartners.org.For more information about Ken Dychtwald and his new book, Age Power, along with some financial information, go to http://www.agewave.com.