Halle Berry on 'heartbreak' as only Black woman to win best actress Oscar
"I wanted to believe it was so much bigger than me."
When Halle Berry made history as the first Black woman to win best actress at the 2002 Academy Awards for "Monster's Ball," she said she believed she would be the first of many Black women to receive the honor.
Now, nearly 20 years later, Berry, 54, is still the only one -- a fact she calls "one of my biggest heartbreaks."
In an interview, the "X-Men" star opened up about why it blows her mind that no other woman of color has won best actress to date.
"I thought Cynthia [Erivo] was going to do it last year. I thought Ruth [Negga] had a really good shot at it too," Berry told Variety, referencing the 2019 film "Harriet" and 2016's "Loving," respectively.
"I thought there were women that rightfully, arguably, could have, should have" she added. "I hoped they would have, but why it hasn’t gone that way, I don’t have the answer."
Understandably, Berry -- who makes her directorial debut this year with "Bruised" -- struggles to process how she is still the only Black actress to win best actress.
"It’s one of my biggest heartbreaks," she said. "The morning after, I thought, ‘Wow, I was chosen to open a door.’ And then, to have no one … I question, 'Was that an important moment, or was it just an important moment for me?'"
"I wanted to believe it was so much bigger than me," the "Boomerang" star continued. "It felt so much bigger than me, mainly because I knew others should have been there before me and they weren’t."
Still, she does "feel like there’s a turning point" -- especially with more women sitting in the director's chair. It's her hope this will lead to a more diverse cast of winners at next year's Academy Awards.
The 2021 Oscars are set for Sunday, April 25, having been postponed due to the COVID-19 pandemic.