Dear 'GMA' Advice Guru Top 20 Finalists: Amy Kean

Nov. 26, 2010 — -- Amy Kean from New York, NY, is a finalist in the Dear GMA Advice Guru Contest. Read her application below!

Essay

I hate to brag, but how else can I answer? If you're searching for a unique combination of fresh talent and legitimate professional experience, I'm your GMA Advice Guru. The job requires someone who can do it all: write entertaining, smart advice columns with a strong point-of-view; host engaging, energetic advice videos for the web; and be professional, lively and most of all, comfortable on live national television. That's a tall order. But believe it or not, I've already done all three! ...In addition to my TV work, for the past four years, I've been writing a funny (husband vs. wife) relationship advice column/ blog with videos with my real-life husband John. ... I became a first-time mother last year, which has honestly been the most thrilling experience of my life. But now that my son's turned one, I'm ready to jump back into the trenches full-time. Giving great advice has always been my passion, my calling. I'd be honored to do it for GMA.

What's the best advice you have ever given? What was the result?

When I was only eight, I actually suggested that my parents separate. Weird? Probably. But it was the painful truth. One night, I was coloring at our kitchen table, eavesdropping as my frustrated mother complained over the phone about her marital problems. As usual, she was venting to my grandmother, "What do you think I should do? We're arguing non-stop and it's awful for the kids." When she hung up, I turned to her and blurted out, "I really think you and Daddy would be a lot happier if you lived in separate houses." She stopped, sat down for a minute, and responded, "You know, I think you're 100% right." I loved them both, but they were much better partners -- and parents -- living apart. By listening to me, and taking my advice, my mother made me feel that my opinion was truly respected, and valued.

Amy Kean is Finalist In GMA Advice Guru Contest

What would you tell this person: "Whenever there is an issue between my mother-in-law and me, my husband refuses to stand up for me. How do I get him to value our relationship more than the one with his mother?

Monsters-in-law have been locking horns with their daughters-in-law since marriage was invented; it's the most natural thing in the world! Here's the deal: all mothers, even crappy ones, have a unique, intense (even primal) bond with their sons. She's done EVERYTHING: got fat then squeezed his big head out of her body, wept witnessing his first steps, made him thousands of grilled cheese sandwiches, even sacrificed buying a new home just so he could attend his first-choice college. (Is it obvious that I just gave birth to a baby boy?) Then YOU strut into the family photo and "BAM!" you're now the queen? Such betrayal! So instead of competing with your mother-in-law, just let her win. (Or rather, let her THINK she's won.) Meanwhile in private, make sure your husband agrees that you must always come first. Believe it or not, making your mother-in-law happy equals making your marriage stronger.

What would you tell this person: "While cleaning my son's room, I accidentally saw on his Facebook page threatening remarks from his friends. I fear he's being bullied. What should I do?"

No smart, or responsible, parent would allow her child (under 16) to be on Facebook -- end of story. Whatever happened to "networking" the old-fashioned way: at a dance, on the school bus, or in the schoolyard? For kids, the social networking sites have been little more than a breeding ground for bullies and pedophiles. Plus, kids waste so much time on the Internet, there's little time left for family or even schoolwork. First, admit that you were snooping. (Do you really expect me to believe you "accidentally" found it? C'mon, I'm a mom.) Next, confront him about the mean remarks. If he gets emotional or defensive, your instincts were right. Even if he begs against it, contact his school counselors immediately. Tell him, "You're the most important person to me; and I can't allow anyone to mistreat you." Your #1 job is to protect him. Don't wait; act FAST!

Finalist Amy Kean Could Be GMA's New Advice Guru

What would you tell this person: "My boss keeps taking credit for my ideas. What should I do?"

NOTHING! My first impulse is to blurt out, "Quit that thankless job!; life's too short to have a moron picking your brain, stealing your ideas blah, blah, blah." But the reality is, life's too short to be unemployed and hungry. These economic times require caution. Sit tight, breathe, and be thankful you're employed. However, remember that your idea-stealing boss could get the axe sometime soon. So it's critical that you begin carefully crafting a plan to get noticed for your value in the workplace. Then, maybe you'll get a promotion. The mistake most employees make is failing to network with upper management. They worry it's inappropriate to even make eye contact with the "Big Boss." Nonsense! Every chance you get, slip into the elevator with top brass and casually say things like, "I'm so thrilled to see my ideas are making an impact." Get it? Just step over your boss.

Submissions have been edited for length, style and clarity.