Dear 'GMA' Advice Guru: Cooper Boone

Dec. 14, 2010 -- Cooper Boone from New York, NY, is a finalist in the Dear GMA Advice Guru Contest. Read his response to a viewer-submitted question below!

Question from Jennifer in Cincinnati, Ohio "I am the mother of twin pre-teens and I am ready to start navigating the mine field of inevitable puberty. I am amazed that some of their friends have hit puberty at such a young age. How do I best prepare my girls for the changes they will soon see in their bodies? At what age should they first see a gynecologist?"

Cooper's Answer:

Dear Jennifer,

Twin tweens?! You have double the joy yet twice the challenge.

Fortunately, you're readying your daughters (and yourself) for the physical, mental and emotional changes to come before puberty rears its not-so-pretty head!

Let's address the practical steps of your girl's first visit to the gynecologist. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) suggest a girl's first examination be between the ages of 13 and 15. However, as you noted, more and more girls are reaching puberty before their teen years. My advice is to weigh where your daughters are in their personal development and when you see the first signs of puberty, bring your daughters to your gynecologist separately to start the dialogue. This first visit doesn't necessarily have to be an exam, but an introduction and opportunity for your girls to ask questions and get comfortable with this right-of-passage.

With that said, you'll need to start the conversation before making that appointment. Talking about body development and sexuality is really hard for most parents, so if you're a little nervous or feel awkward it's totally normal. However, your children need (and want) to know that you are available, informed and confident with what you tell them.

Here are some straightforward tips on how to help prepare your girls for the changes ahead:

* Do your homework. There are many solid resources available to help you with the science and psychology of puberty. Start with "Changing Bodies, Changing Lives." It will help you decide what information is appropriate for your daughters at each stage of their development.

* Keep it simple. Kids have more access to information than ever but emotionally they are still tweens. Sexuality is complex, so start off talking about just the bare basics.

* Build their confidence. As their bodies change, many girls wonder if they're "normal," become more self-conscious and ultimately insecure. It doesn't help that they're saturated with air-brushed images in the media of the 'ideal' woman. You know what makes them feel proud, accomplished and valued. Build on that.

* Listen without judgment. What's just as important as educating your girls is being there when they have questions. They might not have much to say now, but if they know that you are the expert source and will tell them the truth about anything they ask, they're more likely to come to you for information rather than friends at school or an Internet site.

* Grow as you go. Add more information to the conversation as they grow into puberty and beyond. You can phase in additional information as they mature and are equipped to digest the more complex and charged material. This will be huge building block of your overall relationship for years to come.

Jennifer, this is such a great opportunity for you to be a positive role model for your daughters and really help them through the troubled waters of puberty! Good luck and please check back with updates soon.

Dr. Coop