Dear 'GMA' Advice Guru Top 20 Finalists: Sophia Venable

Nov. 26, 2010 — -- Sophia Venable from Los Angeles, Calif., is a finalist in the Dear GMA Advice Guru Contest. Read her application below!

EssayOh, I hope you at least interview me. I was made for this. Everyone I have ever helped has said I should have a radio show. I was a professional musical theater actress for many years, I have a masters in psychology, I'm a certified professional life coach, specializing in relationships and finance, a labor coach and childbirth educator, mother of two, divorced, totally in love again, in love with my life, can make the best of anything, and I'm funny as s**t. I'm a gluten-free, hippy home-birther who has proudly had plastic surgery. I have no shame, I love men, don't have much patience for man-haters, and I think everyone can create a better life for themselves. I also have very good grammar when not limited to 300 words or less. I ran a successful film music business for over 10 years; I know a lot about that industry. I've also temped in just about every industry from insurance to supermarkets. I was a waitress for seven years, have dealt with the public, done voice over and I am a competitive ballroom dancer. Oh yes, that too. I can shake it, baby. There's no subject I'm afraid of -- bring on the questions! Finance, relationships, sex, religion, narcissistic mothers, dieting, online dating, email etiquette, football, office politics, scuba diving, pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding, organization, addiction, boobs, hot yoga, parenting. I tend to call people on their crap, in the sense that they need to take responsibility for their story, but my strength is really in getting them to look at what they want, as opposed to what they don't want. No one ever solved a problem by whining about it, so let's just get to the truth and figure it out. I'm full of it. Free advice, that is.

What's the best advice you have ever given? What was the result?

One good advice moment was to my brother, who was really unhappy in his house andhad an opportunity to sell it for a large profit. He hadn't been there long enough toavoid capital gains tax and was afraid of the disapproving crap my mom was going to dealhim. I told him to smile and nod at my mother, pay his taxes, and go get his little dreamhouse in Venice. Now five blocks from the beach, he wouldn't dream of moving.

Unfortunately, I've also had the opportunity to give some good friends advice onexiting abusive relationships. I had to remind them that fear and love can't exist in thesame space, and that love is not about trying to be perfect in order to avoid rage. In all ofthose situations, they found their resourcefulness and moved on to much better lives.

Sophia Venable is Finalist in GMA Advice Guru Contest

What would you tell this person: "Whenever there is an issue between my mother-in-law and me, my husband refuses to stand up for me. How do I get him to value our relationship more than the one with his mother?

Really, you have two problems here. First, with your mother in law, you need to setboundaries. She can have her own opinions, but she doesn't get a say in how youlive your life or run your household. And with your man, well, you can't always expecthim to agree with you, but he should have your back. What I mean by this is that herespect your opinion and ask his mother to respect your opinion. Phrases like, "Well,that's what works for our family" or "We're really happy doing this" willrepresent you and your husband as another whole family unit and a united front. Own yourdecisions and your role as the matriarch of your household and encourage your husbandto stand beside you as the man of your house. He needs to grow some cajones aroundhis mommy -- and so do you.

What would you tell this person: "While cleaning my son's room, I accidentally saw on his Facebook page threatening remarks from his friends. I fear he's being bullied. What should I do?"

If you haven't had the "You have no privacy if I think you're in trouble" talk, it'stime. We can respect our children's privacy, but it's our first job to keep them safe.Explain to him that his facebook caught your eye, that you would like to look at thecomments together, and you want to know if you should be worried. Sometimes slangterms of endearment (like "bitch") can sound pretty rough. These peoplewouldn't be part of his network if they weren't friends, which makes me suspecthe's ok. But you MUST ask. In the unlikely event he's being bullied, every schoolhas a process to deal with it and you start there.

Also: why are you cleaning your son's room? Sounds like he's old enough andyou're making things difficult for his future wife. Make sure he's not being bullied, thenteach him how to do his own laundry.

What would you tell this person: "My boss keeps taking credit for my ideas. What should I do?"

Hmmm, have you asked for credit? Is it just part of the deal that your ideas become part ofthe bigger picture? If you have out-grown your job, and should be doing your boss'sjob, then you need to start getting your portfolio together. You can go to your boss andask where there might be opportunity for you to get your name on a project. There areways to start making it known that you're a contributor, diplomatically, withoutsounding like a whiny baby. When you're contributing to the process and receiving apaycheck, you're not automatically entitled to actual type-face credit. If you wantmore glory, then start working toward a promotion. Your boss probably did a lot of workfor little credit before being in his position. It's the nature of almost any business.

Submissions have been edited for length, style and clarity.