Dear 'GMA' Advice Guru Top 20 Finalists: JC Ellis

Nov. 26, 2010 — -- JC Ellis from Germantown, Tenn., is a finalist in the Dear GMA Advice Guru Contest. Read her application below!

Essay

If I could figure out how to stay slim while eating crunchy Cheetos every day, my fingers would always be stained orange. But I haven't met a zero calorie crunchy Cheeto that doesn't land right on my rear end and settle there like a bear hibernating in winter. So in my desire to keep my derriere from reaching my calves, I practice yoga three times per week, run like the wind and I recently started rock climbing even though I'm afraid of heights. I'm a mother of three, including a teenage girl, a pre-teen girl and a seven year old son, so I'm fearless. I've also been married to the same man for nineteen years, and he'll tell you that the amount of time I spend on the phone giving advice to my friends should qualify me as an advice guru. I'm JC Ellis, and I should be GMA's advice guru. ... Also, before I jumped off the corporate ladder to publish my teen fiction novels and raise my children, I was an HR Vice President, so I am well versed in corporate jargon. I can give advice on any and everything! A native Chicagoan, I moved to Memphis this summer, but I don't have a southern drawl, yet. I'm working on it! Pick me, pick me, pick me! The title of my segments could be "Hey JC!"

JC Ellis is Finalist in GMA Advice Guru Contest

What's the best advice you have ever given? What was the result?

One of my closest friends was and is still single. Eight years ago she was sad that, although she was a successful attorney, she didn't have the family that she imagined she would have at this point in her life. I told her that being a wife and a mother were two uniquely separate things and that she shouldn't rob herself of one just because she didn't have the other. She adopted an infant child from the foster care system, and now she's a wonderful mother to a beautiful daughter. As my mother says all the time, "One monkey don't stop no show!" Translation: Not having a man shouldn't stop you from living your life.

What would you tell this person: "Whenever there is an issue between my mother-in-law and me, my husband refuses to stand up for me. How do I get him to value our relationship more than the one with his mother?

Ask him this, "Are you a man or a mouse? Did you take a vow to honor your mother or to honor me?" It's understandable for a man to want to play in the neutral zone with issues involving the two most important women in his life; however, if he is "siding" with his mother over you on silly things, then you need to have a chat with him about how that makes you feel. I would steer clear of his mother for awhile and avoid conversations with her that might become heated. If you can't dodge her like a bully on the playground, and he still refuses to release the apron strings, stop doing your wifely duties for awhile and tell him you are on strike until he can act like the man you married and not a little mama's boy.

What would you tell this person: "While cleaning my son's room, I accidentally saw on his Facebook page threatening remarks from his friends. I fear he's being bullied. What should I do?"

Cyber bullying is a serious issue that should be addressed with urgency. If his computer was on, then you weren't snooping; although JC believes that a child has a limited right to privacy in the parents' home. You want privacy? Pay rent and move out. But we don't want to make this about you snooping. This is about protecting your son from bullying. I would sit him down and have a discussion about what you saw and your fears of what cyber bullying can lead to, namely teen suicide. Tell him how important he is to you and the family and how much you love him. I would insist that he "unfriend" the cyber bullies, and encourage him to enroll in activities that will help build his self esteem. Tae Kwon Do, Rock Climbing, Art, Theatre, something to distract him from the cyber bullies. I would really emphasize the martial arts so he can kick some cyber butt if the bullying escalates to another level.

Finalist JC Ellis Could Be New GMA Advice Guru

What would you tell this person: "My boss keeps taking credit for my ideas. What should I do?"

At your next one on one with your boss I would script something like this: "Boss, I enjoy working with you and understand that my job is to make you look good. From the looks of things, I'm doing my job well in that you've been looking really good based on the feedback that you've received on my XYZ and ABC ideas. When do you think I'll be able to pitch my own ideas to the team so that I can begin to build my credibility in the organization?" If this doesn't work and she still pimps your ideas as her own, only share the "booty" ideas with her and pitch the great ones to the team yourself. Remember, there's more than one way to skin a cat and out fox a jerk. And update your resume because your clock is ticking on this gig.

Submissions have been edited for length, style and clarity.