New Year, New You: Cure Holiday Stress

Dec. 26, 2006—, 2006 -- The holidays can be a stressful time of year. With these tips from Laura Day, author of "Welcome to Your Crisis," you can squash your stress and make 2007 the best year ever.

How to Respond to Crises

People have four basic reactions to crisis: depression, anxiety, rage and denial, according to Day.

If you respond to stress with depression, focus on feeling connected. If you respond with anxiety, focus on successes. People who respond with rage should turn it around by practicing gratitude and finding reasons to be grateful. If you respond to stress with denial, focus on the moment; you've gotten so busy "doing," you're not feeling.

Family Stress

Day agreed to answer some e-mailed questions from "Good Morning America" viewers.

Q: I wouldn't really say that my family is driving me nuts during this holiday season. They always drive me nuts. I have two teenagers who want iPods and digital cameras. I also have a 9- and 5-year-old who basically want everything they see. On top of that, I now have a newborn who takes up a lot of my time. Needless to say, I am a very tired mother and all I want for this holiday season is some rest.

-- Yolanda

This woman shouldn't take her family's requests personally, Day said.

But she is responding to crisis with denial. She's so busy doing things, that she's not taking any time to feel. She doesn't see that she's got lots of love around her.

Instead, she should focus on the moment. Instead of letting the situation drive her crazy, she should use this as an opportunity to create more intimacy in her family. Intimacy can be accomplished by giving up control and delegating responsibility.

If you're stressed out by a similar situation, next year tell the big kids that they are running Christmas. It won't be done your way, but it will get done. Give the kids a budget and make them agree on one big family gift like getting a great sound system for the living room. Have them plan Christmas dinner, even if its hoagies. It teaches you to let go of control, and it teaches them to pitch in -- a valuable skill they'll continue to use throughout the year.

Split Between Grandparents

Q: It is hard enough to try to figure out what four kids want from Santa and then have to worry about which grandparents' home to go to. And no matter which you go to, someone's feelings will be hurt. Rotating doesn't work!!! ... I wish I could crawl into bed Oct. 31 and not get out of bed until Jan. 2.
-- Lisa

Buford, Ga.

Lisa is responding to this crisis with anxiety, according to Day. She starts anticipating her disasters before Halloween. She needs to know that the world isn't going to end if she doesn't make everyone happy. Lisa and people like her should focus on their successes and set limits.

People in this situation have a few options. Whatever the occasion -- Christmas, any holiday or even birthdays -- tell both sets of parents you're tired of traveling. Do it lovingly and offer to have them come to you. Help make travel arrangements.

You can also stay where you are and have a holiday by phone where the kids do pictures and poems. You can travel to them, but let them do the presents.

Whatever you do, focus on success, according to Day. This person has a family who wants her and her kids. Now she needs to make it work for her. She's focusing on the negative, but she should focus on the positive, find a solution and let everyone know about it in a loving and positive way.

Missing Mom

Q: Because I'm single, I have always had to give up Christmas with family so that co-workers could spend time with their kids. Well, I was the son of a wonderful mom who would have liked to see me as well. So who's more important? I miss her terribly. ... I really, really resent the holidays. They're not fair to everyone, only a select few.

-- Jordan

Portland, Ore.

According to Day, Jordan responds to crisis with rage and depression. If you're in the same boat, to turn that around, find a support network. You can turn your rage into a passion to change. One way is by doing something good -- you'll be around people, and you'll feel that you've done something good that you can be proud of. Keep that in mind for the next round of holidays or any time you start feeling this way.