How to Make Green Eggs and Ham

Oct. 27, 2006 — -- If you've ever wondered what green eggs and ham really taste like, there's a new book that will let you find out.

Georgeanne Brennan has written the "Green Eggs and Ham Cookbook," and it's filled with simple, scrumptious, wacky recipes for such foods as Cat in the Hat Pudding and Moose Juice and Schlopp.

Each recipe is accompanied by the original verse that inspired it, and the pages are laminated to protect against splatters of Sneetch Salad, Oobleck, and Solla Sollew Stew.

Green Eggs and Ham

If you, like Sam-I-am, also like green eggs and ham, you will like these greenguacamole eggs and green glazed ham -- just try them. You can make theguacamole as mild or as spicy as you like. (If you don't want to cook a wholeham, try making a tablespoon or two of the glaze for a slice of ham.) You caneat them here or there. You can eat them anywhere.

Ingredients:

1 fully cooked and smoked ham, about 8 to 10 pounds

1 cup apple or mint apple jelly

3 medium tomatillos, husked and minced

1 cup minced cilantro leaves or ½ cup minced cilantro leaves and ½ cup minced

Parsley leaves

4 ripe avocados

Juice of 2 to 3 limes

1 teaspoon salt

2 tablespoons white onion, minced (optional)

2 serrano chilies, seeded and minced (optional)

4 ounces butter or 3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil or other light cooking oil, such as canola or sunflower

12 pasteurized eggs

Directions for Ham:

1. Heat the ham as directed by the package instructions. Let cool to almost room temperature, about 20 minutes.

2. Mix the apple jelly and the minced tomatillos together to make glaze. Spread the ham all over with the glaze, except on the cut side.

3. Using your hands, gently pat the cilantro, or cilantro and parsley, into the glaze until it is solid green.

Directions for Eggs:

1. Cut the avocados in half and remove the pits. With a spoon, scoop the flesh out into a bowl. Mash it with a fork, then add the lime juice and salt and, if you want, the onions and chilies. Mix again.

2. In a large frying pan, melt the butter or heat the oil over medium heat. When hot, crack the eggs into the pan.

3. Cover the pan and cook until the yolk has a pale white film over it and is slightly to very firm.

4.With a spatula, gently slide the eggs onto plates or a serving platter.

5. Spoon the guacamole over each yolk, covering it.

Serve immediately.

MAKES 12 SERVINGS

Daisy-Head Mayzie Burgers

Make these big, juicy hamburgers the Daisy-Head way-that is, with a gingerbread-daisy dessert stuck right on top. You can make the cookies a day ahead if you want.

Ingredients for Hamburgers:

12 lean ground-beef patties

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon black pepper

6 sesame hamburger buns plus 6 more bun bottoms

Mayonnaise (optional)

Mustard (optional)

Ketchup (optional)

Relish (optional)

24 slices of American or Swiss cheese

12 large lettuce leaves

2 large tomatoes, sliced (optional)

1 large onion, thinly sliced (optional)

Sliced sweet or dill pickles (optional)

Directions for Hamburgers:

1. Sprinkle each patty with a little of the salt and pepper.

2. Preheat the oven to 350°F.

3. Put the buns on a baking sheet cut side down, and heat until warm, about 10 minutes. Remove and set aside.

4. Preheat broiler.

5. Put the patties on a broiler pan and set about 4 inches from the heat source.Broil until brown, about 4 minutes. Turn and broil the other side until brown, about 4 minutes.

6. Spread the 12 bun bottoms with whatever you like -- mayonnaise, mustard, ketchup, relish -- or leave them plain if you prefer.

7. Put a patty on each bun bottom, then 2 pieces of cheese, 1 piece of lettuce, and, if you want, a slice of tomato, a slice of onion, and even pickles.

8. Stack one of these creations on top of another. Repeat until you have 6 double-stacked hamburgers. Now spread whatever you want on the inside of the 6 top buns and place on the stacked hamburgers.

9. Stick a daisy cookie onto the top of each hamburger.

MAKES 6 HAMBURGERS

Ingredients for Cookies

1 stick of butter at room temperature

½ cup firmly packed light brown sugar

½ cup light molasses

3 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

¼ teaspoon ground cloves

½ teaspoon ground cinnamon

½ teaspoon grated nutmeg

1 teaspoon ground ginger

½teaspoon salt

1/3 cup milk

Ingredients for Icing

2 egg whites

4 ¼ cups (1 pound) confectioners' sugar

1 teaspoon water (optional)

Green food coloring

Yellow food coloring

Directions for Cookies

1. Trace or draw the cookie shape shown above. Tape it onto cardboard and cut it out to make your cookie pattern.

2. Preheat oven to 350°F. Using 1 teaspoon of butter, grease a large baking sheet.

3. In a large bowl, using an electric mixer, beat the remaining butter and the sugar until light and fluffy. Beat in the molasses until well blended.

4. In a medium bowl, combine the flour, baking soda, cloves, cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, and salt. Whisk them together to mix well.

5. Add half the flour mixture to the butter mixture and beat until well blended. Beat in about ¼ cup of milk, then add the remaining flour mixture, beating it well. If it is crumbly, add a little extra milk as needed. Gather the dough into a ball and pack firmly together.

6. On a well-floured surface, roll the dough until it is ½-inch thick.

7. Lay the flower pattern on the dough and cut around it with a knife to make each cookie. Transfer the cutouts to the baking sheet.

8. Bake for 7 or 8 minutes or until the cookies are puffed and spring back when pushed with your finger. Transfer to a wire rack to cool.

Directions for Icing

1. In a large bowl, using an electric mixer, beat the egg whites and 4 cups of confectioners' sugar until very stiff, about 10 minutes. If the icing is too stiff, add a teaspoon of water. If too thin, add about ¼ cup more of confectioners' sugar.

2. Put about 4 tablespoons of the icing in a bowl and add a few drops of green food coloring.

3. Put about 2 tablespoons of the icing in another bowl and add a few drops of yellow food coloring.

4. Using a knife or a small spatula, ice the daisy cookies.

MAKES ABOUT 16 COOKIES

Schlopp With a Cherry on Top

Beautiful schlopp is granola, homemade, with honey and orange juice for stickto-itiveness, seeds, nuts, and oats, and three more good grains of whatever sort you want. Top it all with great glops of yogurt, add some sliced banana, and, of course, plop that cherry on top. You'll want schloppy seconds!

Ingredients for Granola

Juice of 1 orange

¼ cup canola, sunflower, orother light cooking oil

¼ cup honey

1 tablespoon sesame seeds

1 tablespoon poppy seeds

1 cup pearled barley

1 cup rolled rye

1 cup quinoa

1 cup oat bran

4 cups uncooked oatmeal (not quick-cooking)

¼ cup chopped walnuts

½ cup golden raisins

Ingredients for Schlopp

1 ripe banana

4 ounces plain or flavored

Yogurt

1 Maraschino cherry

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 300°F.

2. In a large bowl, mix together the orange juice, oil, honey, sesame seeds, and poppy seeds.

3. Add the barley, rye, quinoa, oat bran, and rolled oats. Mix until all are well coated, using your hands if necessary.

4. Spread on two large, ungreased baking sheets and bake until lightly toasted, about 45 minutes to 1 hour, stirring every 15 minutes or so. Stir in the walnuts after about 30 minutes.

5. Remove, let cool to room temperature, and stir in the raisins. (May be stored in airtight containers for up to three weeks.)

6. Cut the banana in half and peel it. Cut each half lengthwise to make 4 long slices. If desired, heat in a frying pan or microwave.

7. Put ¼ cup of granola in a bowl, top with half the yogurt, and add the banana slices. Add another 1/4 cup of granola and the remaining yogurt and top with the cherry.

MAKES ABOUT 8 CUPS OF GRANOLA AND 1 SERVING OF SCHLOPP

Sneetch Treats

Whether Star-Belly or Plain-Belly, when Sneetches get together for a marshmallow roast, they all eat Sneetch Treats, which are Sneetch-style s'mores. To toast the marshmallows, use sticks or long-handled barbecue forks, just like for the Nook Hook Cook Book Dogs. Make the cookies ahead so they're all ready, or use store-bought cookies.

Ingredients for Oatmeal Cookies

8 ounces butter, melted

1½ cups brown sugar

2 eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla

1½ cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

½ teaspoon salt

31½ cups uncooked one-minute oatmeal

½ cup chopped walnuts

1 cup golden raisins

Ingredients for S'more Filling

3 chocolate bars, 3½ ounces each, broken into squares

24 marshmallows

Oak, pecan, hickory, or pine sticks, about 3 feet long, soaked in water (long-handled barbecue forks may be substituted)

Directions for Oatmeal Cookies

1. Preheat the oven to 350°F.

2. Combine the melted butter, brown sugar, eggs, and vanilla in a bowl and mix well.

3. In another bowl, combine the flour, baking soda, and salt and mix with a whisk, then add to the butter mixture.

4. Add the oatmeal, walnuts, and raisins and mix well.

5. Drop the cookie batter onto ungreased baking sheets, 1 tablespoon at a time.Flatten slightly with the back of a spatula.

6. Bake until golden and firm, about 12 minutes. Remove to a cake rack to cool.

The cookies can be made a day or two ahead. Let cool and then store in an airtight container.

MAKES ABOUT 48 COOKIES

Directions for S'more Filling

1. Put a square of chocolate on each of 24 cookies.

2. Place the marshmallows on the sticks or barbecue forks.

3. Prepare a wood or charcoal fire in a fire pit or barbecue, or heat a gas grill. Hold the marshmallows over the heat, being careful not to get too close. Cook, turning, until the marshmallows are just turning golden, about 2 to 3 minutes.

4. Using a fork, push a marshmallow on top of each of the chocolate squares and top with another cookie, squeezing together to make a cookie-chocolate marshmallow Sneetch Treat.

MAKES 24 SERVINGS