Parents' Prom Survival Guide

April 29, 2008 — -- Prom preparations are swinging into high gear, and while prom night is a major rite of passage for young people, it can be a major nightmare for parents.

Seventeen magazine editor-in-chief Ann Shoket offers tips about what to do if your daughter's prom spending is out of control, how to make sure she wears a dress that doesn't make her look trashy and how to keep her from drinking and having sex after the prom.

Control the Expenses

With the average cost of prom night topping $790 — the dress alone costs $234 on average — Shoket says parents can have their teen work off the expenses during the summer. But she encourages parents to stop the budget bleeding right away.

"Make a list of every single thing you'll spend money on — flowers, limo, tickets and dinner," Shoket advised. "Question every expense. Do you really need that stretch limo Hummer with strobe lighting?"

Instead of a stretch limo, decrease costs and have a parent rent a vintage car and act like a chauffeur on prom night. Swap dinner at a swanky restaurant for dinner at home with a few decorations to make your dining room look like a fancy restaurant.

Compromise on Clothes

Prom is every teen's first "red-carpet" moment, and girls looking for that perfect dress for the special night might disagree with their parents' view of trendy attire.

Topping the list of inappropriate promwear are low-cut necklines, tall stilettos above four inches, and jewelry with chains or spikes.

"You can find a way to compromise and have your daughter have her sense of personality," said Shoket.

Girls can still show some skin, but the key word is "flirty." Instead of showing cleavage, she suggested back necklines that leave shoulders bare. Opt for color — from jewel tones to citrus shades — and loose hemlines. Heels are fine, but they must be shorter.

Be Involved

Have a pre-prom "talk," advised Shoket. "You can't avoid the sex talk."

Instead of talking about sex at the last minute, do it when you're both relaxed.

"If you're involved in the prom planning all of the way through, you'll find the right moment to bring it up."

For post-prom festivities, consider hosting a bash at your house. Shoket suggested using creativity to set up activities like Wii bowling and iPod karaoke.

Once everything is ready and the teens are at your house, stay out of their way. Cruise through the party about once an hour — just to make sure everyone is acting appropriately and safely.

If the party is not at your house, make sure you give your daughter an emergency phone number she can call if things get out of control. The emergency call number must be a free-pass, with no questions asked. Make a deal up front. If she needs a ride home, she can use the number and avoid getting into trouble. The goal, after all, is safety.

Finally, encourage your daughter to keep the prom in perspective.

"Let your teenager know that prom should be a last hurrah for her friends, not get complicated and swept up into the moment," said Shoket.

Shoket said to remember your child still needs you.

"As much as teenagers say they are grown up, they want their parents' guidance."