Crowded Bed a Mood Killer for Many Couples

Feb. 13, 2007 — -- Bob and Bea Law from San Antonio are a full-time working couple who put in long hours at their demanding jobs.

At the end of the workday, Bob and Bea are still going full speed -- picking up their daughter from the baby sitter, shuttling the oldest boys to separate swimming and diving practices, and racing to tackle chores such as dinner.

By bedtime, they're exhausted and eager to get some rest, but this couple haven't slept alone in their own bed since the birth of their second child 10 years ago.

And at night when it gets crowded, Bob leaves his wife and retreats to his daughter's tiny bed just to get a few hours of sleep.

"Good Morning America" sent in the "Romance Brigade" of Matt Bean, editor of Men's Health, and Nicole Beland, deputy editor of Women's Health magazine.

Bob and Bea said the kids didn't have a problem going to sleep, as long as they were in bed with mom and dad.

"We're so tired. You can either fight with 'em or you can give in and go to bed. And we give in," Bob said.

When they try not to give in and make the kids sleep in their own beds, the loudest resistance comes from their 3-year-old, Bella. One screaming match lasted two hours, Bea said.

"I just couldn't handle it," Bea said. "Then I started crying 'cause she was crying. I'm crying and he's getting flustered because we're all crying and he just said, 'Forget it. Just come on in.'"

Make the Kids' Room Irresistible

A Men's Health magazine survey found that kids were No. 3 on the list of romance-mood killers

To get the couple back on the romance track, Bean suggested moving the TV out of the bedroom.

"Italian researchers found that couples with TVs in the bedroom had about half as much fun, if you know what I mean," Bean said. "So there's one little solution here: Pull the plug on this thing."

Once the TV is gone, pump up the ambiance with LED child-safe candles, then make your kids' rooms more irresistible.

Beland suggested creating a "secret castle" tent for little Bella.

"She's gonna want to come in here at night and be alone because there's so much fun stuff inside," Beland said. "Like this comforter. It's soft. It's warm. It lights up, and it plays soft music. But in order for her to hear the music, she's gonna have to lay her head down on it."

Bella also needs to feel close to dad. Bean had a solution on how to help her stay connected, even from her own room: a two-way baby monitor.

"You can hear what she's up to in here, and you can also talk to her," Bean said.

Romance Brigade Tips

Fun Rooms. Make the kids' beds and night routines as fun as possible so they want to sleep there. The more fun the kids can have at bedtime, the more likely they are to stay in their rooms through the night.

Romance Brigade recommends: Lullabed Themed Story Blankets and Tinker Tots Tent Beds. Also great for bedtime are the Cloud B blankets.

Breaker-Breaker Bedtime. Ease the transition out of your bed by keeping in touch with the kids via two-way baby monitors. Your toddlers can hear you and can talk back as well. This lets them know mom and dad are close-by so they feel safe and mom and dad regain rights to their own bed.

Romance Brigade recommends: Phillips two-way baby monitor.

No distractions. Once the kids are out of the bed, parents should make sure there are no other distractions in the bedroom -- especially no television. Take out the TV and make your bedroom a place for time alone with one another and a good night's sleep.

Romance Brigade recommends: Brookstone LED Candles. They are battery operated and turn on and off with motion detection, so there are no fire hazard concerns. The "What I Love About You" book allows couples to spend their nights writing in this romance journal so they can get back to what they love most about each other and their family.

Tire those kids out! It's really important to have all of your kids playing together with a game that's interactive for all players no matter what age. If you have older kids, it will allow you to sneak away for a half hour, and also helps to tire out the kids who may be trapped indoors this winter with lots of energy to burn.

Romance Brigade recommends: The Ninetendo Wii system. With four controllers, all of the kids can play at the same time and it keeps them up and moving.

Update: Bob and Bea updated "GMA" and the Romance Brigade, and said the tips had worked! The kids are spending more nights in their own rooms, and Bob and Bea have the bed to themselves for the first time in years.