Grief on the Campaign Trail

Jan. 4, 2008 — -- It's not how the world is meant to work — and it sears, like no other pain.

"I went from thinking there was a benevolent God to blaming God," said Sen. Joe Biden, D-Del.

Former Tennessee Sen. Fred Thompson: "I've had the worst thing that can happen to a father."

"It was a devastating event," former North Carolina Sen. John Edwards said.

The loss of a child is one life-altering experience shared by three of the presidential contenders this cycle.

Thompson lost his 38-year-old daughter five years ago from an accidental overdose of prescription drugs.

"You can't live as much life as I have lived, not just in length but in quality and in terms of things that have happened to you, and remain exactly the same person," he said.

Biden had just been elected to the Senate in 1972 when his 18-month-old daughter, Naomi, and his wife, Neilia, were killed by a tractor-trailer that slammed into their station wagon. His two young sons survived. Biden told ABC News' George Stephanopoulos he now understands how intense grief could lead to suicide.

"I used to think you just had to be stark-raving mad, but in the depths of despair that a lot of people have shared like I have, I can understand how it could be a conscious decision."

And the Edwards family, who lost their son Wade at 16 when the sport utility vehicle he was driving flipped over, say life stops after the loss of a child.

"It does a little bit," Elizabeth Edwards told ABC News. "There isn't a parent who has lost a child in this country who doesn't know that. I mean, I describe it as sort of, you know, this BC-AD moment."

Publicly discussing a family tragedy is a relatively new phenomenon. When John and Jackie Kennedy lost their 2-day-old son, Patrick, it wasn't something he talked about on the stump.

And even George and Barbara Bush, who lost their 3-year-old daughter, Robin, didn't talk about their grief until years later.

"I was very close to her," the former president told ABC News in 1999. "She adored him," Barbara said of the relationship.

The urge to reset priorities, to make a difference, often follows that sort of loss — and it can help the healing.

"There is no more fundamental challenge to our core beliefs I think than to lose a child," said Gail Sheehy, author of "Passages." "It either renders people bitter and mired in their grievances or it very often inspires them to make more of their own lives."

Al Gore has said his experience with the near death of his son certainly had that impact on him.

"When you've seen your 6-year-old son fighting for his life, you realize that some things matter a lot more than winning," he said in 1992.

"You know, they say that sometimes if a family loses a child, they drift apart. I've always read that, I don't know whether it's true not," said former President Bush. "But in our case… "

"Seventy percent," Barbara Bush interjected.

"… it worked the other way," he continued. "Worked the other way around. We had a lot of friends helping."

Thompson, at the time, chose not to run again for Senate, but wrenching soul-searching pushed him to get back in this season.

"You come out the end of that understanding what's important and what's not," he said.

Elizabeth Edwards gave up her job as a lawyer, the couple decided to have more children and John Edwards plunged into a new career — politics, something that remains a lifeline for the family today.

"It makes you think about what you're doing and makes you probably more interested in serving than you might have been before," he said.

And Biden dedicated himself to his sons and to serving.

"You've got to focus on what's left, what you have."