Gay Dads Keeping Busy With Quadruplets

Sept. 12, 2002 -- A playful exchange in a hair salon turned into a history-making event for Michael Meehan and Thomas Dysarz.

A gay couple who own two hair salons in Lexington, Ky., are now the proud fathers of 7-week-old quadruplets, with the assistance of a surrogate mother.

The biological dad, 36-year-old lawyer Meehan, and his partner, Dysarz, 31, are believed to be the first gay couple ever to have quadruplets. They had the children through in-vitro fertilization after Dysarz met the babies' mom, a 23-year-old Kentucky woman, by chance at one of their salons.

Both men joined the woman, who does not want her name publicized, in the delivery room when the four infants were delivered via Caesarean section on July 26.

Taylor, the only girl, was the smallest at 2 pounds, 14 ounces. She and Michael, who weighed 3 pounds, were both born at 3:05 p.m. Jacob, weighing 3 pounds 5 ounces, came next at 3:07 p.m., followed by Tristan, who was born a minute later and was the largest of the brood at 3 pounds, 7 ounces. The new dads say they were shocked to the core when they first heard the mother would give birth to four babies.

"I was like, 'Oh, Lord, help us!' I was a little nervous," Dysarz said on ABCNEWS' Good Morning America. "I was excited — I come from a large family of seven myself, a good Catholic family, and I was just excited."

Longing for a Family

Dysarz and Meehan became a couple in 1998 and decided early on that they wanted to have children together. Initially, they were busy starting up the hair salons, but four years later, they were ready to take the plunge into parenthood.

Since Kentucky law doesn't allow gay parents to adopt, they decided that surrogacy would be their best option, and that Meehan would be the biological father of the first child.

Then Dysarz met the woman who would become their surrogate mother. She appeared in one of the salons, with her three children in tow. Dysarz thought the kids were cute, and kidded her that he wanted to take them home and keep them.

When she learned about the couple's situation, she wanted to help out. She said she always thought it was her calling to become a surrogate mom.

Dysarz told Meehan about the hair salon discussion, and they decided the time was right.

The woman had no problem with bearing a child for a gay couple.

"She actually said later on in the she thought it was great because she wanted to help a couple have children that couldn't have children," Dysarz said. "The fact we are a gay couple even made it that much more special for her to give that gift to us."

After the births, the surrogate mother provided breast milk for the babies, as she had agreed to, but she will have only limited contact with the children in the future. Under Kentucky law, a surrogate mother can terminate her parental rights after three days. Since Meehan is the biological father, no adoption is necessary.

A Lot of Diapers to Change

Since the babies were born, the two men have found that their schedules dictated by those of the children. The babies eat every three hours, and sleep two to three hours between feedings.

The dads do most of the care themselves, with Meehan's mom helping out. Since Dysarz works late at the salon, he often handles the night shift, while Meehan works at home during the day. Eventually, they'll hire a nanny.

While many people have been supportive of their decision to start a family, the salon owners did receive one nasty call at their business after an article about the new dads appeared in the local newspaper. But negative comments have been the exception in the community, where they have received a lot of support.

Meehan said he and Dysarz live in a family-values-oriented town, and their values are like anyone else's.

"They will be raised in a loving home and that's all you can ask from any parent," Meehan said.