Extended Military Stays Hit Families Hard

April 23, 2004 -- As nearly 20,000 American troops brace for at least three additional months in Iraq, the hard reality is hitting their families back home.

The newly announced troop extensions — which broke the Pentagon's promise that Iraq tours of duty would be limited to one year — are forcing many to change plans, cancel weddings and delay return to normal life. Meanwhile, the anxiety felt by those at home increases each day.

Melissa Tallon's fiancé, Chris Hollywood, was supposed to be home in May in time for their wedding, but that was before the news last week.

"He called to tell me that he wasn't coming home when he expected to and that he was going to be there for a while, and he didn't know how much longer," Tallon said, crying. "If he can't come home for the wedding in June, then we're going to have to postpone for a while, which is going to be hard. Everything has already been set up. Invitations went out. People have been paid, everything is there."

Special Cases

The Pentagon says in certain cases soldiers are given leave for funerals and to be with sick family members.

But there is no hard and fast rule. In the end, whether a soldier can leave or not is up to the individual's commanding officer.

Patrice Confer's 19-year-old son, Army Pvt. Joseph Wagner, had been trying to go home to Altoona, Wis., for weeks. His 44-year-old mother has terminal cancer and they had hoped to see each other one last time. Finally, after weeks of waiting and increased media attention, Confer learned late Thursday that her son would be granted leave from the 1st Infantry Division in Iraq.

"I'm just so happy he's coming home," she said.

Broken Homes

Another group of women, frustrated because their husbands already have been gone for more than a year, have set up an advocacy group called Rights for American Citizen Soldiers. They hope to bring attention to the plight of National Guard soldiers serving in Iraq and the effects it has had on their families, particularly the kids.

"You want him there, and you want to see him, you want him to see you, and it's really hard, because you miss him and you want him home," said Nicole Whatcott, 14.

"It's hard been watching everything my mom's going through," said 17-year-old Shavonica VanZant. "I think everything in our house is broken."

Adding to the anxiety of families back home is word that some units who have been extended had already given up their gear. And in some cases, the equipment had already made it back home when the troops were told they had to stay. That equipment is now being sent back to Iraq.