The Great American Guilt Trip

April 7, 2006— -- A love for gas-guzzling cars, shirking family responsibilities, indulging in calorie-laden desserts -- there seem to be endless reasons to feel guilty these days.

But an article from the Wall Street Journal reports that guilt is actually good for you.

"It really causes us to stand up and take notice and make amends," June Tangney, a psychology professor at George Mason University who specializes in guilt and shame, said to "Good Morning America." "It pushes you to do the right thing, to confess, to apologize, to make amends for the problems you've created."

Consider sun worshipers. Researchers at Tulane University found the best way to get them to use sunscreen was to make them feel guilty about how loved ones would feel if they got cancer.

Keith Ablow, a psychiatrist whose clients include everyone from Fortune 500 CEOs to prisoners, said he used guilt to help people.

"I do believe that guilt can be helpful," Ablow said. "For example, I've told a patient, 'I don't care how messy your divorce is. Not seeing your children is not acceptable.'"

Who's Feeling Guilty?

According to The Wall Street Journal article, women are more likely to feel guilty than men, and a new poll out from ABC News and Good Housekeeping supported that trend. The poll found that more than half of mothers felt guilty that they were not better at motherhood.

"Women feel more of just about every emotion," Tangney said. "They really report much more shame and much more guilt. But guys can feel that, too, and they don't really express it as much, so it can be in some ways more of a problem for men."

Ablow agreed.

"You can become very sensitive and hostile about criticism because you're protecting yourself from these deep feelings that are not conscious," he said. "Men may do more of that."

While guilt may be different between men and women, there is no difference when it comes to culture.

"The surprising thing in our research, we found very little differences across different religious groups," Tangney said. "Whether you're Catholic or from a Jewish background or a Muslim, we all have the capacity to feel both good guilt and bad shame."

Guilt vs. Shame

There are important distinctions between guilt and shame.

"When people feel guilty, they feel guilty about a particular behavior," Tangney said. "When people feel ashamed, they feel bad about themselves."

When treating people feeling a deep sense of shame, Ablow said that psychiatrists often have to go back to the root of the shame, which is usually in childhood. Children can often misinterpret things, he said, such as thinking their parents' divorce is their fault.

Tangney's research into guilt and shame has taught her about guiding and disciplining her own children.

"I've learned that being really harsh is counterproductive," Tangney said. "No matter how important your message is, if you really lower the boom on your kids, all they hear is, 'You're a bad person.'"

"It's clear to me that you really can't accomplish anything if the kid doesn't keep the ears open," Tangney said. "And the only way to do that is to subtly underscore that you are furious with a specific behavior, not the child overall."