Online Predators: Is He Dating You to Get to Your Child?

May 29, 2007 — -- There are so many things to worry about when you start dating. What should I wear? What will he think of me? Is he the one?

But there may be a much graver question to consider: How do you know if a man is only dating you to get to your child?

Last month, nearly 24 million Americans went online to look for love, and as the trend of online dating grows, it may be bringing new dating dangers along with it.

When one single mother, who spoke to ABC News anonymously, met a man online, she thought it was a dream.

"At the time it just seemed magical. It was, you know, the dream come true," she told "Good Morning America."

In six months, they were living together. Two years later, they were married. She later made a terrible discovery: he was molesting her daughter. As soon as she found out, she confronted him on the phone.

"She's 6 years old," the woman said to her husband.

"I know," her husband replied. 'I have no excuse whatsoever. I'm sorry."

It's a crime that is so horrifying, you don't want to believe it. FBI agents said they learned of the man's true intentions when an undercover agent intercepted some of his e-mails during an online chat.

"These e-mails indicated that he actually married the mother to have access to the child," FBI Special Agent Deborah McCarley said.

Police say lonely, struggling women can be easy targets.

In this case, the man used that vulnerability to gain guaranteed access to the innocence of a 6-year-old child.

"I think I was really looking for someone to rescue me although I didn't recognize it at the time," the mother said.

The mother is speaking out for the first time to help other women, but wished to remain anonymous to protect her daughter. She said she had no idea the abuse was happening until the day the FBI knocked on her door.

"That day I felt like somebody stuck a straw in my ear and sucked out my brain. It really just felt like I had been punched in the stomach," she said.

This is an excerpt of the agonizing exchange between the woman and her husband, which was caught on tape.

Woman: "How could you do this to me?"

Husband: "How could I do it to anybody? I don't know."

Woman: "How could you do it to her?"

Woman: "I'm sorry. I have no answer."

Woman: "I trusted you!"

Husband: "I know. You're right."

Woman: "I loved you with all my heart!"

Husband: "What I have done is evil and it's wrong and there're going to be a lot of people that are going to hate me now and I don't blame any of them."

It gets worse.

Not only did the man molest his wife's daughter, he also went online and offered the girl to other pedophiles just as authorities stepped in.

"I'd never say that I was going to kill myself, but [there were] times where I wish that I would die," the woman said.

"Good Morning America" found cases of dangerous online dating situations all across the country -- sex offenders trolling sites and neglecting to mention their pasts, Internet romances leading to beatings and rapes and felons leaving their convictions out of their profiles as they looked for love.

"Once they feel comfortable on that Internet, they feel like they're shielded because they're on that computer," said Phoenix Police Sgt. Andy Hill.

True.com is the only major online dating site that runs background screenings on all of its members to keep criminals and married people off the site. True.com has even filed civil lawsuits against convicted felons and registered sex offenders who lie about their records.

"I'm out to get them and I'm serious as a heart attack. I will get them. I want them off our Web site," True.com's CEO Herb Vest said.

"They use online dating sites to look for single parents, begin dating them and they do that to gain access to and victimize their kids," Celeste Moyers, Director of the Safer Online Dating Alliance, said.

According to Moyers, if someone wants to do harm, they will find a way to do it.

"People are caught off guard," she said. "Even the smartest, savviest online dater can be a victim of sexual assault."

The woman said her daughter is getting better.

"She is my hero. She's awesome. She's doing so well," she said. "She's got her sense of self worth back and I'm so proud of her."

The woman is now divorced from her husband. He's currently serving 30 years in prison for his crimes.

Some states, like New Jersey, are considering legislation to require dating sites to clearly disclose whether they conduct background screenings on members.

Safety Tips from the Safer Online Dating Alliance

Use an online dating service that puts its members' safety above the privacy of other members and conducts criminal background checks.

Don't use your personal e-mail address. Create a special one just for dating and don't include enough information in it for a predator to identify you.

Do not post pictures of your children or give out details about their genders or ages.

Meet new dates in a public place — not at your home.

For more tips, visit www.saferonlinedating.org.