How to Help an Unemployed Friend

Dec. 12, 2008 — -- Last week nearly 575,000 people filed first-time claims for unemployment benefits -- the largest number of weekly claims in 25 years.

Thousands of people looking for work have attended "Good Morning America" job fairs across the country. Most of us know someone out of work who might need a helping hand -- but as a friend or family member, what's the best way to help?

Diane Sawyer sat down with five recently unemployed people to talk about what helps and what doesn't when the rug gets yanked out from under you.

Since their layoffs, these five say they have sent out a combined total of 430 resumes. Each of them talked about the shock they felt when they got the news, the isolation and frustration they feel while looking for work and the physical toll unemployment has taken on them.

Lee Sakellarides, 45, Staten Island, N.Y.

Lee was laid off from her job as a marketing manager in October. Before that, she worked as an editor and copywriter.

Louis Carone, 45, Forest Hills, N.Y.

Louis was laid off from his job as a facilities manager for a moving company in August. He ran his own vending business from 1987 through 2006.

Michael Menachem, 26, New York, N.Y.

Michael worked in sales in the music and entertainment industry. He lost his job nearly three months ago.

Job hunters Vivian Lynette, Katie Tichacek

Vivian Lynette, 40, Bronx, N.Y.

Vivian has been out of work for nine months, after more than two decades of working as an administrative assistant at various companies. She has two children.

Katie Tichacek, 32, New York, N.Y.

Katie last worked as a deputy field organizer for Barack Obama's presidential campaign, and when the campaign ended so did her job. Before that she worked as a public affairs associate for the Drug Enforcement Agency and the New York City Economic Development Corp. She is currently looking for public relations jobs.

What to Do to Help

Don't pull away.

Vivian: "Sometimes you have some friends that will offer you help. But what I've noticed, a lot of friends, they don't call, because they don't know what to say. So, they're backin' off. And it -- that hurts even more, because I'm still the same person, even though I'm unemployed."

Michael: "I would like people to create a sense of normalcy. Because although you might not be able to have everything that you had before. If your friends and your family and your loved ones approach situations, invite you to events, parties, you know, it's just really what will keep your spirits up."

Spontaneous gifts are lifesaving.

Lee: "Several friends gave me clothes and said, 'oh, you know, I've just been cleaning out my closet. Or I'm moving and I just can't take this with me.' And they've just showered me with clothes, which is wonderful."

Holiday Season Especially Tough

Louis: "I mean, every time I walk into a store and I hear Christmas music, I think that's what, I think pushes me over the edge. I used to live for Christmas, you know? I become that little kid around this time of the year. You know, going shoppin' for everybody. It's not for me, it's for for everybody else. When I walk into a store and I hear, 'Jingle bells, jingle bells,' you know, it's the worst time of the year."

Katie: "I mean, I think -- there's nothing more painful for somebody who's hard up for cash than getting a scarf or something that you really would rather have the money for stuff that you really need, you know? So, that's my advice."

Short-Term Work Can Be a Lifesaver

Lee: "If you know, if you need a ride over here, then you know, I'll do this. Because then no one feels beholden. You know, passing a wad of money across the table, although maybe that wouldn't be such a bad deal."

Cheerlead Then Cheerlead Again

Katie: "I think anything that can, it sounds cheesy, but that can boost your self-esteem. It's kind of a paradox in your job searching, 'cause you have to sell yourself. You have to be so confident about who you are and what your skills are. And you don't see it when you're in your pajamas until 11 in the morning. ...We're alone all day long. All of you out in the world have your jobs and your social interaction. We have ourselves and our resume, and our soul searching."

Unemployed Can Help Each Other and Make It Through Together

Michael: "I know that something's gonna work out, and everything's gonna level out for everyone, eventually. We might have to cut back on certain things. But -- it's -- there's no way for me to be, other than positive about this, optimistic."

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