Men's Health: Tips to Live By

Sept. 22, 2000 -- Boil the Men’s Health philosophy down to a few words and it’s this: We don’t want you to die.

That’s why we’ve put together this list of some of the ways you can die along with the best ways to avoid every one of them.

Car Accident Deaths Per Year: 41,000

If the media treated the AAA like the NRA, you’d hear this little mantra more and more: Cars don’t kill people. People with cars kill people.

How to avoid dying: You can cut your risk by wearing a seat belt (lowers your risk by 45 percent) and having an airbag (in conjunction with a seat belt, reduces your risk by 56 percent). And since the majority of fatal crashes take place at night, stay home on Saturdays, when 18 percent of all deadly collisions happen — especially in Montana, Mississippi, and South Carolina, which have the highest rate of traffic deaths per vehicle mile. Tuesday is the safest day, at 12 percent.

One more thing: Let those people go. Eleven percent of fatal accidents happen when someone is too stubborn to yield.

Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Diseases Deaths Per Year: 112,584

They’re the number 5 killer of men … but what the hell are they? A fancy-pants term for good old-fashioned emphysema and bronchitis.

How to avoid dying: You’ve stopped smoking. You’ve quit your coal-mining gig. You put away your Fun with Asbestos kit. So what else can you do to protect your lungs? Wear a dust mask when you’re tearing apart your house. That will prevent toxic junk from entering your chest.

Colon Cancer Deaths Per Year: 47,700

Death from down under. You knew about the checkup, but you were busy. And dressed.

How to avoid dying: Drink milk every day — or consider a 300 milligram calcium supplement. Calcium has been shown to decrease the recurrence of precancerous polyps, says Dr. Robert Beart, chief of colorectal surgery at the University of Southern California.

Diabetes Deaths Per Year: 64,751

The adult-onset kind can ambush you: One minute, you’re in line at Baskin-Robbins. The next, you’re face down in the sherbet.

How to avoid dying: Eat more insoluble fiber (vegetables and wheat bran) and its dietary friend, soluble fiber (fruit, some beans, oats, barley, and rye). According to the New England Journal of Medicine, men who ate 50 grams a day of both kinds of fiber reduced their glucose by 10 percent and insulin by 12 percent.

Fires and Burns Deaths Per Year: 3,741

Tenth floor. Working late. Smell smoke coming from the office next door? Could be carpet sex: The burns can be excruciating. But it could be worse. It could just be the carpet. And the whole floor beneath it.

How to avoid dying: Fight that towering inferno with a roll of duct tape. “If you’re trapped in your office building, waiting for the fire department to rescue you, seal the door with tape to prevent smoke from coming in,” says Julie Reynolds, spokesperson for the National Fire Protection Association.

Fire at home? Try blasting it with a fire extinguisher. But if that doesn’t work, get the hell out. Most portable extinguishers empty in 8 to 10 seconds. Another option: For about $1 per square foot — or the price of a Jacuzzi — you can add a sprinkler system to your home. A sprinkler system essentially guarantees you won’t die in a fire.

Heart Disease Deaths Per Year: 724,859

More than half of the 1.1 million coronary victims each year die on the way to the hospital. Why? Because they blow off their symptoms or delay calling 911 for help, says a study from Oregon Health Sciences University.

How to avoid dying: If you have even the slightest doubt, don’t wait for your wife to get home from work to drive you to the hospital. Call an ambulance pronto, Tonto.

Even worse, a study that appeared in the Journal of the American Medical Association revealed that a third of heart-attack victims show up at the hospital without chest pain — making them twice as likely to die, since they aren’t diagnosed as quickly as the complainers. If you’re at risk, talk to your doctor about the other symptoms you may experience during an attack — including shortness of breath, nausea, and fainting.

Influenza and Pneumonia Deaths Per Year: 91,871

You, her, and 17 of her closest friends — all in one hot tub. The next day, you feel like you’re dying. What happened?

How to avoid dying: The tub was dirtier than your craven, wretched mind. Hot tubs that aren’t working properly or that haven’t been cleaned in the correct way have been known to carry an organism that leads to pneumonia. You jump in the tub, the germs jump in you.

So what do you do? How about the dishes? One study found that liquid dish soaps are really good at destroying the respiratory syncytial virus (rsv) that can cause pneumonia; they do an even better job than so-called antibacterial soaps.

If it’s flu, though, you can skip the dishes and go straight to the doc’s office. Ask him about Amantadine. The stuff has been shown to stop the flu dead in its tracks if taken at the earliest sign of symptoms.

Meningitis Deaths Per Year: 768

How to avoid dying: Get a shot. Most people don’t know there’s a meningitis vaccine, but in fact it’s been around for nearly 30 years. If your kid is headed off to Whatsamatta U. this fall, make sure your family doctor gives the kid the needle: College freshmen are more than six times as likely to contract meningitis as kids of the same age who aren’t attending college.

Poisoning (By Unseen Gases and Vapors) Deaths Per Year: 638

Carbon monoxide is the Steve Winwood of gases: odorless, tasteless, and colorless. And it can kill in minutes if you and a running car are locked in the same garage together, listening to “Back in the High Life.”

How to avoid dying: If you’re worried about leaks from your stove, buy a CO detector or check the flame on the top burners: Blue is good; yellow or orange means a slow leak.

Prostate Cancer Deaths Per Year: 31,900

How to avoid dying: Catch it early. If you do, you have a 70 percent greater chance of beating it. Have a psa test and, after you turn 50, get a digital rectal poke once a year. For best results, ask a doctor to do it.

Strangulation Deaths Per Year: 762

Attacked by a mugger who learned his trade during the Great Depression? You have only 3 to 4 seconds before you run out of oxygen.

How to avoid dying: Place your foot behind one of your attacker’s legs, then twist violently and throw an arm in his face. With any luck, he’ll trip over your leg and undo his grip on your throat, and you’ll have time to catch your breath.

Testicular Cancer Deaths Per Year: 300

If you’ve got ‘em, check ‘em. A bump on a nut could mean trouble.

How to avoid dying: Get treatment fast; if caught early, testicular cancer is a highly curable condition. Want to prevent it? Sever all ties to Ronald McDonald — if you’re young and have a high-fat diet, you’re four times as likely to develop testicular cancer. Be especially careful if one of your boys never made the jump down. Cryptorchidism (an undescended testicle) can mean you have two to 11 times the average guy’s risk of testicular cancer.

Extremely grim research assistance by Carol Ann Shaheen, Erin Loos, Allison Newhart, Amy Jo Van Bodegraven, and Bernadette Sukley.